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Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English – chapter- 9 SEX DISEASES

Henry Stanton’s 1922 book Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English is intended as a frank (although consevative and moralistic) guide to human sexual behaviour and relationships. It is partly a self-help book, partly an attempt to relay the scientific knowledge of the day in relation to sex and reproduction in a way suitable for popular consumption. It Has 10 Chapters- This is C Chapter IX: SEX DISEASES

Sex Positions Missionary -1

A sex position is a position of the body that people use for sexual intercourse or other sexual activities. Sexual acts are generally described by the positions the participants adopt in order to perform those acts. Though sexual intercourse generally involves penetration of the body of one person by another, sex positions commonly involve penetrative or non-penetrative sexual activities.

Vatsyayana Kama Sutra Part 2, Chapter 5 : Sexual union by On Biting, and the means to be employed with regard to women of different countries

The Kama Sutra or Kamasutra is most notable of a group of ancient texts known generically as Kama Shastra (Sanskrit: Kāma Śāstra) by Vatsyayana Part 2 talks about Amorous advances/sexual union Part 2 Chapter 5 talks about Biting, and the means to be employed with regard to women of different countries

Sex Positions Missionary Split

Missionary Split – A sex position is a position of the body that people use for sexual intercourse or other sexual activities. Sexual acts are generally described by the positions the participants adopt in order to perform those acts. Though sexual intercourse generally involves penetration of the body of one person by another, sex positions commonly involve penetrative or non-penetrative sexual activities.

Beach Time Is The Best Time

I didn’t get a good look being she was kind of in the middle of the group but when she happened to stand up she was wearing a hot pink bikini. She looked to be very young and vey attractive too, and as she stood there briefly, I tried to check her out but still wasn’t able to get a good look.

Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English – chapter- 7 : SEX IN THE MARRIAGE RELATION–THE HUSBAND

Henry Stanton’s 1922 book Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English is intended as a frank (although consevative and moralistic) guide to human sexual behaviour and relationships. It is partly a self-help book, partly an attempt to relay the scientific knowledge of the day in relation to sex and reproduction in a way suitable for popular consumption. It Has 10 Chapters- This is Chapter VII: SEX IN THE MARRIAGE RELATION–THE HUSBAND

Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English – chapter-6

Henry Stanton’s 1922 book Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English is intended as a frank (although consevative and moralistic) guide to human sexual behaviour and relationships. It is partly a self-help book, partly an attempt to relay the scientific knowledge of the day in relation to sex and reproduction in a way suitable for popular consumption. It Has 10 Chapters- This is Chapter VI: SEX IN THE ADxxxxxxxT FEMALE

Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English – chapter- 8 : SEX IN THE MARRIAGE RELATION–THE WIFE

Henry Stanton’s 1922 book Sex – Avoided Subjects Discussed in Plain English is intended as a frank (although consevative and moralistic) guide to human sexual behaviour and relationships. It is partly a self-help book, partly an attempt to relay the scientific knowledge of the day in relation to sex and reproduction in a way suitable for popular consumption. It Has 10 Chapters- This is Chapter VIII: SEX IN THE MARRIAGE RELATION–THE WIFE

Kaylene_(1)

Author: male raised in a rural area with not much to do when growing up, luckily sex was a big part of life in those days.
While of average height and looks I was pretty tanned and toned due to an active outdoors lifestyle.
These stories are true and not embellished but names have been changed as I still know some of the subjects 40 years later …
—————————————————————————————————
Kaylene
When I first met Kaylene I was going out with her cousin Kayner and she had just come down from Sydney for a visit with her auntie Chez who Kayner lived with.
You couldn’t have picked two more different people, Kaylene was short, chubby, big tits and very outgoing while my girlfriend Kayner was five inches taller than me, skinny with wide hips, virtually no tits at all and very quiet but they were very close and seemed to bring each other into middle ground personality wise.
All three of us got on like a house on fire and were always together cruising around in my hotted up Holden.
One of my mates Kevin hooked up with Kaylene which often had people mixed up as to who was going with who as he was slightly taller than Kayner and I was slightly taller than Kaylene and all four of us spent every spare minute together.
Auntie Chez had lost her husband a year or two before and was not in the market for a boyfriend even though she was in her mid twenties only a few years older than the rest of us, we often spent the night there in the two single beds in Kayner’s room listening to each other, joking around and chatting while having sex with our respective partners.
Chez was pretty cool and didn’t mind our sexual antics quite often catching one of us out somewhere in the house and would just laugh and say “get a room you two … and not my room either”.
Chez had let herself go a bit since her husbands death but had an enormous set of tits that she loved to flash at every opportunity and usually walked around in just a long singlet and satin knickers sometimes with and sometimes without a bra and didn’t seem to mind us two boys being around, one of her favourite tricks was to walk up behind our seat while we were having a conversation and flop her big boobs out on our shoulders cutting off any sounds.
We would often get her back in the mornings by jumping on her in just a pair of jocks and tshirt and pretend to fuck her boobs through her singlet with our morning woody, she would always jump up and chase us round while we would egg her on saying we just wanted to see her knock herself out with her unrestrained tits.
It really was a fun and free place to hang out.
Late one night the four of us drove up to the snow for something to do before having a bit of a sex session in the car trying to see who could rock the car more.
For a break we ascended the lookout tower but the cold wind off the snow soon drove us back to the warmth of the car, funny thing was the girls had swapped seats and after chatting for a while I drove back towards Chez’s house.
On the way Kayler said jokingly from the back seat “we seemed to have swapped partners … does anyone mind?” I pulled Kaylene’s head to me and laughingly gave her a big kiss saying “I don’t mind”, Kevin did the same and by the time we arrived back we all realised that we didn’t mind at all and started making out on the couch next to each other.
Chez walked in and just shook her head saying “I could see that happening”, funny that as none of the four of us saw it coming.
That night we boys swapped beds and as I slipped my prick in between Kaylene’s soft wet inner lips and nuzzled her big boobs I realised that we had usually spent more time together anyway so it seemed more natural this way.
A little while later after I had cum and Kaylene was laying on top of me with my dick still buried in her cunt we were all starting to joke around when I said “you know what I miss?”, the others all chorused “what?” and I said “having a nipple in my mouth while having my dick in a nice wet pussy while lying flat on my back” Kaylene then tried to get her nipple to reach my mouth but fell short by an inch or so cracking up as she did, Kayner then jumped in to bed beside us naked and fed her right nipple into my mouth laughingly saying “that’s how you do it”.
Not to be left out Kevin laid on Kaylene’s back and sucked Kayner’s left nipple into his mouth.
Kaylene then said “hey, I seem to be missing out here” so Kevin started sliding his dick in her ass crack with the help of the juices from Kayner’s cunt and pretty soon got a bit serious as he got hard again, he started moaning saying how good it felt and Kaylene was getting a bit worked up as well squeezing my dick back into life and growing inside her.
Kayner said “are you two going to double team her or what?” to which Kaylene replied that she had never tried anal so Kayner reached for Kevin’s dick and pointed it straight at her asshole while Kevin pushed the head in.
Kaylene jumped saying ”I didn’t mean I wanted to try it” to which Kayner replied “its too late now as he has it halfway in already”
Kayner scooped a bit more lube out of her cunt and slopped it round Kevin’s prick when he pulled back a bit so he put the pressure on again and he slowly started sinking in.
I said “hey, I can feel it going in” to which Kaylene replied “Its not too bad when you go slow like that” so Kevin slowed a bit but kept the pressure on until he had sunk all the way in to her asshole.
I started moving while Kevin stayed still and pretty soon Kaylene relaxed and started to really enjoy it as I slowly slid my engorged prick in and out of her wet squishy cunt.
Kayner meanwhile was watching intently while stroking three fingers into her big cunt and soon added a fourth finger, she then got up behind Kevin and placed her hand against his bum and started to fuck herself on her fingers while rubbing her nipples on his back.
I was getting quite squashed and finding it hard to move but reached round and started pinching Kayner’s nipples as her humping started Kevin moving, pretty soon he was humping pretty hard with his dick hitting deep into Kaylene’s bum in the down stroke and pushing Kayner’s fingers deep into her cunt on the upstroke.
Kaylene was getting very turned on and started sliding back and forth between Kevin and my bodies impaling herself hard on our two dicks until she had a huge screaming orgasm, so loud was she that Chez raced in to see what was wrong stopping in the doorway gobsmacked at the scene before her.
As Chez slowly backed out of the room never taking her eyes off the scene in front of her Kevin reached his peak and started spurting his come deep inside Kaylene’s bowels, I could actually feel the throbbing as he unloaded but wasn’t close enough to cum myself and with the limited movement was unable to bring myself off.
Kayner was trying hard to get her whole fist inside herself but couldn’t get past her thumb knuckle so she pushed Kaylene and Kevin further up my body and turned round to impale herself on my dick while furiously frigging her clit.
I had Kaylene’s boobs on either side of my face and was fast building to an orgasm so as soon as Kayner started coming I also went over the edge shoving up hard inside her as I unloaded my cum deep inside her sopping wet pussy.
We untangled ourselves and lay back sideways along the bed but the stains on Kevin’s dick was a bit of a turn off so he headed for the shower with Kaylene going with him while Kayner and I headed to the kitchen for a drink.
As we passed Chez’s room I was sure I could hear a buzzing sound and gave Kayner a nudge, Kayner could see the mischief in my eyes and suggested we let the poor girl have some fun as she hadn’t had a man since her husband so we headed for the shower ourselves.
When we had all cleaned up we were sitting around the kitchen table joking about the moans from Chez’s room when it became obvious from the changing tone of the vibrator that she was giving herself a thorough pounding with it, we could hear it going in and out at a frantic pace until the “oh god, oh god, oh god ooooooOOOOO” made it quite obvious she had come, Kevin and I looked at each other grinning and before the girls could stop us bounded to the door throwing it wide open.
As the light streamed in from the kitchen we could see the torn ruffled sheets and her vibrator only just poking out from the wetness of her chubby pussy, as she tried to drag the tangled sheets over her the vibrator spat out of her soaked pussy lips and Kevin snapped it up running it under his nose then licking up the length of it before tossing it to me to do the same thing.
Chez took off after us as we raced around the table but soon ran out of puff sitting down at the table stark naked and started to laugh seeing the funny side of it.
Kevin turned the vibrator on and placed it on the table on its base, we all roared with laughter as it buzzed its way straight across the table and fell into Chez’s lap amidst comments such as “look, its heading home” “It wants more” “It hasn’t come yet and wants to finish” etc etc
The girls then told her that she could borrow us if she needed some satisfaction but Chez said she didn’t feel right about having someone else’s penis inside her body so close to the death of her husband, the girls got up and gave her a hug with us boys joining in the hug.
Chez then said “I guess its no point getting dressed now” and headed for the shower naked, it was only then that Kaylene realised that we were all still naked and we trooped off to put some clothes on.
When we went to bed that night we stayed in our new arrangement and it became a permanent thing.
The next week when we talked about the foursome Kaylene said that although it was alright on the night she didn’t really want to do it again and Kayner said that she had tried anal with Kevin during the week and it had hurt to much so it looked like being a one time only thing.
Kaylene and I got pretty serious and she moved into my flat with me and things went along pretty good for a while until Kaylene started getting jealous.
When Kevin got a high paying 12 month job overseas he joking said to us that I would have to keep Kayner satisfied while he was away but Kaylene got the shits and stormed out surprising us all, Kaylene and I didn’t seem to spend much time down at Chez’s and I was missing the free and easy fun down there.
One night when Kaylene was heading out for a night out with the girls I told her I would head down to Chez’s for a game of cards and a few drinks, Kaylene made me promise not to fuck Kayner before she would let me go!!
After a few games of cards we decided to watch some tele but it was getting cold so Chez suggested we watch the tele in her bedroom while under the doona so in we trooped.
Chez stripped of her bra and just had her usual singlet and white satin knickers on while Kayner had gone and put a nightie on, I still had my jeans and tshirt on.
We were halfway through a movie when Kaylene stormed in and went off at me calling me all the names under the sun and telling me not to bother coming home as she was through with me !!
We were all stunned as I had not touched another woman at all since the night of the foursome, we talked about her outburst for a while and I said “well I may as well stay here then” and we turned of the tele and prepared for sleep with me removing my jeans and facing towards Chez’s back with Kayner facing me in the spoon position also.
Before long Kayner started feeling me up and teasing me and before long I started getting hard so she pulled my dick out of the leg of my jocks and started rubbing up and down Chez’s bum crack, Chez told me to cut it out but I protested that it wasn’t me.
Kayner kept stroking me and it was feeling pretty nice but she would occasionally rub it up Chez’s bum crack getting me into trouble and laughing softly.
After once more rubbing it on Chez and me saying that it wasn’t me Chez reached back and grabbed my dick holding it still, Kayner tried to move it again but Chez held it still against her butt.
A couple of minutes later Chez leaned forward some more and pushed back with my dick now hitting up against her pussy.
A short time later she started sliding it back and forwards over her lips inside her knickers, I could feel the heat and wetness on the head of my dick as she pushed back onto me a bit harder sliding it in between the lips of her sex.
I was getting pretty turned on by this stage so tried to pull her knickers to one side but Chez stopped me saying “NO” and went back to rubbing me against her knickers.
Kayner had started fingering herself and soon placed her hand against my bum and started humping her fingers which started pushing my dick through Chez’s hand and into her slit taking her satin knickers with it causing them to rub on her clit.
The head of my dick was now entering her hole and the smooth satin along with her copious juices was almost as good as the real thing, Chez was getting really turned on and had started humping backwards so I sneakily rubbed my hand under the back and side of her knickers pulling them down a couple of inches which allowed a lot more slack and my dick to go even deeper.
Chez was humping harder and my knickers wrapped dick was going in at least two inches as I pumped in, Kayner was moaning loudly in my ear and keeping in time with my thrusts, I reached over and pulled the other side of Chez’s knickers down a bit then pulled the opposite side down even more making them quite loose.
I was getting about 4 or 5 inches deep now, Chez was pounding backwards, her knickers were rubbing wetly over her clit as I thrust myself in her, the wave of her orgasm washed over her and she impaled herself again and again so hard it hurt but not enough to stop me blasting the well soaked knickers deep inside her cunt with a huge load of cum.
Chez jump unsteadily to her feet pulling the cum soaked satin from inside her pussy and wobbled off to the shower to wash any trace of cum out as she was not on the pill.
Kayner grabbed my rapidly softening dick with disappointment so I scooted down between her legs and fastened my lips around her engorged clit while sliding a couple of fingers in her.
It was obvious that two fingers would not do so I pressed my five fingers together and pushed in almost all the way, Kayner was close to coming and was urging me on so as she got to the edge my hand slid inside … I couldn’t believe it. My whole hand was inside her so I made a fist and pushed in further feeling her orgasm roll over my hand and wrist, Kayner grabbed my hand and urged me to keep going as another orgasm broke over her so I used long deep strokes to keep her coming.
I stopped after her orgasm ended and tried to pull out but her pussy had clamped down so I licked her clit and started pumping again, Chez had returned and was sitting beside the bed watching with interest.
I grabbed a nipple and kept up the tongue swirling round her clit until I felt her build into another orgasm and pulled my hand out as she rolled through another intense wave of orgasms.
Chez kissed me and whispered “thank you” before rolling over and backing her naked body back up to me so I reached over cupping one of her huge boobs in my hand and spooning up against her bare bum, Kayner spooned up behind me pulling up the covers and we all fell into an exhausted sleep.
I awoke next morning with an erection lodged between Chez’s bum cheeks but when I started to move Chez, who had been lying there awake, said no and rolled onto her back grabbing my erection and gently stroking me, Kayner was also awake and rolled me onto my back to cup my balls before wrapping her lips around my dick to lube it up then she straddled me and we enjoyed a long slow screw while Chez rubbed her hand between her legs while watching us.
Kayner finally came then sped up a bit until I came and she rolled off me, Chez looked me in the eyes and said “go down on me?” I happily complied and was soon slurping her clit, it must have been an inch long hidden in between the untrimmed curls of her pubes so it was easy to slide my lips up and down it.
I probed her with my fingers and it was plain to see that she was even bigger than her niece so slowly added fingers as she built her pleasure up.
She grabbed my hand and squashed my fingers up before fairly easily sliding my hand through her opening.
She was getting pretty close and pleaded “fist me” so I made a fist and started some slow deep strokes, she grabbed my forearm and pulled my fist back into her opening before driving it in again, pretty soon she was pulling my fist right out of her opening and punching it back in again, I sucked on her clit and pushed my fist in as far as it would go feeling her climax build until she doubled up with pleasure holding my arm hard up against the end of her tunnel.
Kayner whispered in my ear “wow, that was easy” as I pulled my fist out of her”
One by one we showered and I headed home to find my clothes spread over the lawn, I had soon packed my gear in the car and moved back into my parents home for a while but the odd weekend spent at Chez’s was always a good time.

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My Sister In Law Beth_(0)

* Thank you to all of the wonderful members of this forum who have
been so supportive of my story. I so appreciate all of your comments
and have valued your critique, using it to try and improve my story.
I will conclude this story shortly, there is one more post to come.
Once again, thanks so much for the encouragement and I am glad
most of you found the story entertaining.
Chapter 22
I stayed on the sofa composing myself for a few minutes, pulled my clothing back on and headed for the shower again. After a nice long shower, I walked back down the hall and heard the shower on in the second bathroom. I walked into the great room, but it was empty. I figured both ladies were in the shower at once, so I headed back to my bedroom. I pulled back the comforter and sheets and slipped into bed. I was laying there with my eyes closed when I felt someone climb in next to me. I looked over and both Jen and Tiff had gotten into bed with me. Jen leaned over, close to my ear, reaching for my cock.
“I hope you’re not done with us.”, she whispered softly.
I have to say that sex with two women at once was probably the most erotic and intense sexual situation, I had ever been in. But, as good as it was, I felt somewhat strange. I’m not sure if it was guilt I felt for fucking Tiff in front of Jen. Or perhaps, it was watching Jen enjoy herself with Tiffany. I couldn’t decide what exactly was wrong, but it definitely bothered me. I knew I was falling in love with Jen and somehow this, perhaps tarnished what I was feeling. By the time I had finished showering I felt guilty as hell. I turned slightly to face Jen.
“You sure about this sweetie ?”, I asked.
“Yes, why is something wrong ?”, she replied.
“No, I’m just asking.”, I responded, “I just don’t want us to be awkward with each other after tonight.”
“Everything will be fine.”, she answered.
Jen leaned over me and put her mouth on mine kissing me softly. I pulled her close to me, responding to her lips with mine. She slid her tongue between my lips and reached for mine. I felt Tiffany moving in the bed and soon she was between my legs, both hands on my cock. Jen released me and continued kissing me, as Tiffany warm wet mouth surrounded my cock. In no time, she had me rock hard again, as she softly licked and sucked my cock back to life. The feeling of her small mouth was incredible, almost mesmerizing, she really knew how to please a man. At that time I really wondered why she had no boyfriend. Strange thing to think while your in bed with two women, but it crossed my mine. I knew this time, I would be able to last longer, so I was not concerned. Jen’s lips left mine, slowly moving down my body, until I felt a second mouth on my cock. I looked down and both ladies had my cock trapped between their mouth’s, moving up and down my shaft. The feeling was indescribable to say the least. They continued for a few moments, then Tiffany leaned over to kiss Jen. Their lips met in a very sensual kiss, their tongue’s probing in and out of each other’s mouth.
Jen broke the kiss, smiling at her friend, reached over and took her hand. She guided Tiffany on her back, laying the tiny woman next to me. She slowly lowered herself down Tiff’s body, until her lips met Tiff’s small, tight pussy. Tiff arched her back in appreciation as Jen’s tongue entered her. Tiff reached up and pulled my face to hers, kissing me firmly on the lips. Her tongue quickly separated my lips and plunged into my mouth. I reached over and softly began to stroke her breasts, every now and then gently squeezing one. By this time Jen’s tongue was having quite the effect on her friend. I could tell Tiff was close. I pulled away from her and looked down at Jen to see that she was alternately licking and sucking Tiff’s clit with her lips and tongue. She was completely oblivious to anything else going on around her. As I watched her, I have to say, I felt a twinge of jealously. I don’t know if I was thinking she was too much into this or what it was. I didn’t have time to really dwell on it because Tiff erupted in orgasm.
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Jen, dammit.”, Tiff screamed.
Tiff’s hips came up off the bed pressing into Jen’s mouth. Jen reached under her, grabbing her ass with both hand’s and pulling her tightly into her lips. Tiff bucked and squirmed against Jen’s mouth continuing to moan in a very loud tone. It took maybe twenty seconds before Tiffany, pushed Jen’s mouth off of her pussy.
“Geez girl, stop for a second, it tickles.”, she giggled.
Jen lifted her face from between her friends legs and I could see it was completely coated in Tiff’s cum. Jen ran her tongue along her lips tasting what was left of her friend’s orgasm. Tiff sat up and pulled Jen close to her kissing her deeply. I could see Tiff’s tongue licking Jen’s lips, tasting her own cum at the same time. They kissed for quite some time until Tiff, turned over and rolled Jen onto her back. She grabbed my hand pulling me towards Jen.
“Fuck her pussy Jeff, make her cum.”, Tiff said in a husky voice.
I climbed between Jen’s legs and guided my cock into her dripping wet slit. I slid in as easy as a knife cuts warm butter. Never have I been inside Jen when she was this wet. I started to move in and out of her in a slow but steady pace, making sure I pressed hard against her mound on the down stroke. Tiff moved from behind me, and got on one side of Jen. She lowered her mouth to Jen’s pussy, using two fingers to open her up and expose her clit. Tiff then extended her tongue and began to flick Jen’s clit as my cock pumped in and out of her. It took maybe a half of minute and Jen erupted in a violent orgasm. I buried my cock deep into her pussy and pressed as hard as I could. Her body convulsed and I felt the walls of her pussy contracting against my cock. Wave after wave of pleasure shot through her body, filling her pussy with fluids, which now had begun to leak down her ass.
Tiff moved her mouth off of Jen’s clit and looked up at me.
“Fuck her Jeff, fuck that pussy till you cum.”, she urged.
I began to pump my cock into Jen’s soaked pussy. Jen was exhausted, her eyes closed, coming off of a mind numbing orgasm. It did not take long for me to feel my balls tighten up and move up into my body. I knew I was going to cum soon. Tiff got up, and pressed her lips to mine in a very hungry kiss driving her tongue into my mouth. She probed it for a few seconds, then broke the kiss, staring into my eyes.
“I want you to cum in my mouth, when you’re ready pull out.”, she whispered.
She leaned back down intently watching my cock piston in and out of her best friends pussy. It took only a few seconds for me to lose control. I reached down, grabbed my cock and pulled out of Jen’s pussy. Before Tiff could get my cock completely in her mouth, the first stream of cum shot out coating her lips, dripping down onto Jen’s stomach. The second spurt hit the back of Tiff’s throat as she swallowed with quick motion. She moved her lips up to the end of my cock and began to lick the head as cum continued to pour out, falling all over Jen. Tiff reached up and grabbed my cock in her hand and began to pump it rapidly, milking what was left of my cum into her mouth. The orgasm was intense, leaving my thigh’s trembling trying to support my weight. Finally I had to push away, sitting down for a second, to catch my breathe.
I looked at Jen who was now fingering her pussy intensely. Tiff was leaning over her, licking my cum off of Jen’s stomach. Tiff’s hand was buried in her own pussy as well, frantically rubbing herself. When Tiff had completely cleaned Jen of all of my cum, she moved up and pressed her lips to her friend’s mouth. It took only a few seconds and once again Jen’s body began to shake and tremble in another orgasm. Tiff followed her quickly and she began to spasm on her own finger’s as she drove her tongue into Jen’s mouth. They shook and moaned together as the orgasm’s subsided and their breathing became more normal. They finally broke their kiss and Tiff looked at Jen.
“I think we need another shower.”, she giggled.
The ladies got out of the bed and went into the master bathroom, turning on the shower, grabbing two towels. I watched them step into the shower and close the glass door. Through the door, I could see the ladies soaping each other lovingly, enjoying the hot water and each other. I saw Tiff lean in and kiss Jen, pulling her close. The kiss lasted a very long time and I remember once again feeling very jealous. As they broke the kiss, I saw Tiff slide down Jen’s body until she was kneeling in front of her friend. I watch Tiff take Jen’s pussy in her mouth again and begin to pleasure her. I am not sure what happened after that, as I must have fallen asleep.
I opened my eyes quickly sensing something was not normal. The room was pitch black and my eyes struggled to adjust to the blackness. I heard faint sounds from over my shoulder, not quite sure of what they were. It took a second for me to realize what had happened and remember that I was not alone in the bed. Just as I was about to close my eyes again, I heard Jen’s soft voice behind my back.
“I love you.”, she whispered.
I swallowed hard, closed my eye’s as a warm feeling swept across my body. Finally, the words I had been waiting to hear, it was real. I opened my eyes, but before I could roll over to face her, acknowledge those same feelings to her, the silence was broken.
“I love you too Jen.”, Tiff replied in a soft sensual voice, “I love you so much it hurts.”
I froze, holding my breathe not wanting either of them to know I was awake. I laid there perfectly still, not moving a muscle. My stomach suddenly felt in was in an elevator going down, giving me an uneasy feeling. Was this simply a result of what had happened tonight or was it something more ? I once again heard noises and it took a few seconds for me to realize they were kissing each other again. I had no clue as to what to do, so I just laid there, motionless. For the next half hour I guess, I listen to these two beautiful women eat each other pussy’s to orgasm, all the while expressing their feelings to each other. I felt horrible. All Jen and I had shared and not once had she ever expressed her love for me. Of course, I had never uttered those words to her either, but still it hurt like hell. I’m not sure how long I laid there before I fell back to sleep, it seemed like an eternity.
I opened my eyes, to light flooding the room, blinking quickly to dull the absorption. I looked at the clock on the night stand, it was nine -twenty in the morning. I rolled over and saw I was alone in bed. I slowly got up and headed into the main part of the house. I entered the great room, but it was empty as well. I walked into the kitchen to see Jen and Tiff sitting at the table drinking coffee.
“Hey sleepy head, good morning.”, Jen said, “How did you sleep ?”
“Good, I guess.”, I replied lying to them, “Was I asleep when you got out of the shower ?”
“Yea, you were.”, Jen replied, “We fell asleep right way as well, we were exhausted.”
This was the first time Jen had ever been untruthful to me, at least that I knew of. Maybe I was reading more into this then I should be. After all, how many guys actually complain when their wife or girlfriend wants a three way. Most guys dream of it their entire life, never ever getting to experience it for themselves. I decided to down play the entire night and just see where we went from here. I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the table with them.
The rest of the day was really uneventful, just relaxing, watching TV. Then was no more physical contact between any of us, which I found kind of surprising after what we had shared the night before. Late that afternoon, Tiffany called her neighbor, who informed her that the gas line had just been repaired and the building was back to normal. I went to the back changed into jeans and a shirt, loaded Tiff’s bag in the trunk and we all left to bring Tiff home.
We dropped Tiff off at her building about thirty minutes later. I open the trunk, grabbed her bag and handed it to her. She kissed me quickly on the lips and thanked me for being so nice. She waved to Jen telling her she would see her in the morning at work. I got back in the car and pulled out heading for Jen’s. We drove for about five minutes in silence, the mood was very awkward.
“So, you have a busy week ahead ?”, I finally asked Jen.
“Yea, it going to be a killer. Not looking forward to it.”, she replied.
She went on to tell me she was opening a new case Monday, in addition to having one not yet conclude, then she had to prep for two more. We agreed to try and talk as much as we could by phone during the week. I pulled up to Jen’s and parked in the lot. I got out and walked around to open her door. She got out and put her arms around me, kissing me softly on the lips.
“Thank you for being you.”, she said softly.
I struggled to find words. I wanted to say it, the words choked in my throat. My mind was demanding that my lips tell her “I Love You”, but somehow the words did not come out. She once again, told me she would call me soon, turned and entered her building. I got in the car, pulled out the lot and fought every urge I had to pick up the cell phone and call her right way. As great as the sex had been last night, emotionally I felt destroyed. I had no way of processing just what had happened and how it all affected Jen and I. I arrived home, pulled in the drive and went in. I grabbed a quick bite to eat, showered and got into bed. In the dark, I laid there just thinking, trying to make sense of it all. One thing was for sure, I was sure I did not want to share Jen again with anyone. I knew that perhaps was very selfish on my part, but it’s how I felt. I close my eye’s and drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 23
The work week started much as any other, cleaning up the previous week’s mess. Soon it was mid-week and I had still not heard from Jen. I called her office, Tiffany answered telling me she was in a meeting and was really busy. I left a message for Jen to call me when she got a chance. Later that night, Jen called me at home. She told me she had just gotten home after a long day in court. She did sound tired, so I decided to cut it short. I told her I would call her Friday to see about the weekend. I told her, I wanted to take her somewhere special, just the two of us. She replied that sounded good to her and we would talk later.
I had no sooner hung the phone , when it rang again. I grabbed it quickly, thinking Jen may have changed her mind. It was Beth.
“Hey Jeff, how are you ?”, she said softly.
“I’m ok Beth, what’s up with you ?”, I replied.
“Jeff, I need to talk to you. Just you and I, one on one, no interruptions.”, she stated.
I started to make excuses, the last thing I needed right now was more drama in my life. I added that things were really crazy right now and I might not be the best person for her to confide in.
“Please Jeff, if you care for me at all, do this, please.”, she pleaded.
What could I say, I was trapped. After all she was family, and really we had to get this settled. I agreed that we would meet the following Friday night at my house. It was over a week away and I had a plan. I was going to tell Jen that I loved her, that I wanted us to be a permanent thing, whatever that took. That would take care of both situations and by the time I met Beth next week, Jen and I would be a couple for good.
The weekend arrived quickly and I was so looking forward to meeting with Jennifer. I called her Friday night but she was still at work. She told me she would be getting home at about nine o’clock, if all went well. I asked her if she had eaten, offering to bring her dinner. She told me she would fix a frozen dinner when she got home, she didn’t have time to eat. She told me she was staying late tonight to avoid going in on Saturday. She promised she would call me in the morning as soon as she got up.
I hung up the phone and looked at the clock, it was seven thirty. I thought to myself, if Jen got home at nine o’clock and was off tomorrow, why not grab a late dinner and surprise her ? I jumped up, showered and dressed. I called in a take out order at one of Jen’s favorite sandwich shops, deciding to surprise her. I picked up the order and drove to Jen’s condo arriving there about quarter till nine. I saw Jen’s parking spot was still empty, she had not arrived yet. I sat in the parking lot for about an hour waiting for her. At a little after ten o’clock, I started up the car and pulled out of the lot. As I did, I suddenly got a feeling, and turned the other way. As I drove in the other direction, I really hoped I was wrong. A few minutes later, as I pulled into Tiff’s parking lot, my heart sank. Jen’s car was parked next to Tiff’s, they were together. I turned the car off and thought for a moment, not sure of what to do. After a few moments, I reached down, started the car and pulled out, heading home.
I woke the next morning to a dull, overcast sky threatening rain. I waited a few hours and called Jen to try to make plans for later. She answered in a sleepy voice. I asked her how her night went, did she get her work done ? She told me yes, she had finished and gotten home about nine thirty and went straight to bed. I didn’t let on I knew better, I was going to wait till tonight to lay all my cards on the table. We made plans to go to a nice restaurant that night and enjoy a quiet evening.
I picked Jen up about seven and we drove to the restaurant. All day long I had been trying to come up with my “speech” so to speak. How to say it, when to say it. I had rewritten it in my head a thousand times, I would probably do so a few more before I got it out.
I asked the hostess to seat us in a quiet booth so we would not be distracted by patrons coming and going. She seated us near the rear of the restaurant, in a very private booth. We both slid in across from each other and picked up our menu’s. A few moments passed, and our waiter approached. He took our orders, picked up the menu’s and told us it would be about twenty minutes for our food to arrive. Perfect, it’s now or never.
“Jen, there’s something I have been meaning to talk to you about.”, I said softly, reaching over and touching her hand.
“Yea, me too.”, she replied looking into my eyes.
“Oh, well, you want to go first ?”, I asked, surprised.
“No, you go ahead Jeff.”, she answered.
I thought one last time, making sure I knew what I was going to say.
“Jen, these past few month’s I have spent with you have been special. After I lost Susan, I thought that part of my life was over. But then you came along and things got a lot better.”, I started.
“I have been wanting to tell you something now for over a month, but never could find the right time, or the right words.”, I continued.
“Jen, I think I am in love with you. I would really like for us to be a permanent thing in each other’s lives, if you feel the same way.”, I ended.
It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I looked at Jen trying to get an idea of her reaction to the words I had just spoken. She had brought her hands up to her face and I could see water filling her eyes as she looked down at her napkin. I knew with Susan, crying at an emotional moment was usually a good thing. It seemed like forever before Jen lowered her hands to speak.
“Jeff, I don’t know what to say, I’m trying to think.”, she replied.
Well that was not the reaction I was hoping for, but sometimes ladies take the long road to get where they are going. I squeezed her hand gently, as I watched a tear roll down her cheek.
“Jen, did I say something wrong ?”, I asked, “If I did, I am sorry.”
“No Jeff, you did not say anything wrong, it’s not that.”, she answered.
“It’s ok Jen, just tell me how you feel, I will understand.”, I promised.
She swallowed hard looking down again at her napkin, more tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked up at me with those beautiful eyes that I loved to look into.
“Jeff, I am in love too.”, she said softly.
Once again, I squeezed her hand softly and smiled at her. I felt a warm feeling spreading over me as I waited for more.
“Jeff, I’m so sorry, I have fallen in love with Tiffany.”, she said between sobs.
She must have felt my hand relax on hers, as the news hit me like a heavyweight fighters punch to the stomach. I think she saw the sadness wash over my face, my shoulders sag to the weight of her words.
“Jeff, I am so sorry, you deserve so much more. I never meant this to happen. It just did.”, she said softly.
There was just silence as I saw the waiter approaching with our order. He set our food down in front of us, ask us if we needed anything else. I simply shook my head no, he turned and walked away.
“Jen, its ok, I understand, love is a strange thing, it just happens.” I started, “But can I ask you something ?”
“Of course you can.”, she answered.
“When did you realize you were in love with Tiffany ?”, I asked, “Was it the first night we were all together at my house ?”
“No Jeff, it was before that.”, she answered. “That was just the first time Tiffany and I had any physical contact. The sparks have been there for a long time. We just both knew it for sure that night.”
“Yes, I know. I heard you tell Tiff you loved her that night in bed.”, I replied.
Jen reached up with her hands covering her face in horror.
“Oh My God, you heard us Jeff ? I am so sorry, I feel terrible.”, she replied.
She went on to explain that she had a crush on Tiffany almost as soon as the small woman began working for her. At the time Tiffany had a boyfriend, so Jen did not give a thought. Then she met me and she thought maybe she was wrong. But her feelings proved to be too strong. She kept apologizing to me over and over.
“Jen, it’s ok sweetie. I understand, just be happy. That’s all that matters in life.”
We quietly finished dinner and made our exit to the parking lot. I knew that we both felt terrible, so continuing the night made absolutely no sense for either of us. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to Jen’s. She realized where we were going and said nothing. As I pulled into her space, the silence in the car was deafening. I reached over and took her soft hand in mine.
“It’s ok Jen, really. I hope you are happy. I care a lot about you, I want that for you.”, I told her.
“Jeff, please stay here for a moment. I will be right back.”, she asked climbing out quickly.
She went into the building and was gone maybe five minutes when she re-emerged with Tiffany at her side. I looked around, I did not see Tiffany’s car anywhere. They both walked up to the driver’s side window and Jen motioned for me to step out, which I did. Jen reached up and put her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest sobbing.
“Jen, told me what happened Jeff. You’re quite a man.”, Tiff said softly.
“Not really Tiff. But I want her to be happy. Life is too short to be anything other. I know from experience.”, I replied.
As soon as Jen released me, Tiff came over and gave me her own hug and kissed my neck. She broke away and looked up at me.
“Jeff, we talked for a minute before we came down. Would you spend the night with us here. Let us be as kind to you, as you were to us tonight. We both want to do this for you. Please.”, she asked.
I have to say, I seriously thought about it for a moment. Another night of wild passionate sex with two gorgeous women who were solely intent on my pleasure. But no matter how great that sounded, it would not help any of us.
“Thank you so much. But I think I will leave you two alone.”, I replied.
“You sure Jeff ?”, Jennifer asked.
Yea, I’m sure.”
I wished the two of them goodnight, but made sure they understood to keep in touch with me. I still wanted Jennifer to know, I was there as a friend if she would need one. I got into my car and took a very long and lonely ride home.
I dreaded Mondays, but this one was really bad. I was starting a week with absolutely nothing to look forward to, this weekend, I would not spend with Jennifer. I trudged through the day at work, several people asking me if I was alright. I guess you could tell, I was somewhat not my normal self. On the ride home my cell phone rang, I looked at the number, saw it was Jen. I answered quickly. She told me she just called to make sure I was ok, once again telling me how badly she felt about what had happened. I reassured her as best I could, once again wishing her happiness. Then she brought up something I had not thought of. How was she going to explain this to her parents, and my mother in law ? She confided in me she really was not prepared to tell her parents she was in love with another woman. We discussed it for a few moments, after which I told Jen to tell everyone, I was the one who decided that we stop seeing each other so much. That I was just not ready and I still missed Susan too much to get serious with anyone. Jennifer replied that would not be fair of me to take the blame, when it was her fault this happened. I assured her this was the only way we could explain it, but not let on about her relationship with Tiffany. After some thought, we agreed.
It was mid-week when I got the call I had been expecting. It was my mother-in-law. After a brief hello, she got right to the point.
“Jeff, what happened with you and Jennifer ?”, she asked, “She told her mother your not seeing each other anymore.”
“Yea Mom, that’s true.”, I replied, “I just wasn’t ready.”
“That’s not true Jeff. I know better, just what happened ? Jen’s mother is really upset, she really likes you.”, she demanded.
I didn’t know what to say and not give Jen away which I had no intention of doing.
“Mom, it’s me, I still miss Susan. No one can replace her.”, I lied.
“Jeff, I will find out what happened, so you might as well tell me.”, she continued.
“Mom, that’s all there is. I’m sorry, I really care for Jen, I wish it would have worked out.”, I answered.
“I know you care for her, that’s why I know something more happened.”, she stated.
I thanked my mother-in-law for her concern, but again told her I had made the decision to break it off with Jen. We talked for a few more seconds then hung up. I got home, took a shower and dropped into my chair to watch TV. About an hour later Jennifer called and told me her mother had just gotten off the phone with her. She told me her mom had grilled her for over an hour about what had happened. I told Jen the conversation I had with my mother-in-law as well. Jen was scared that they would discover what was going on before she would be ready to tell them. I reassured her I would stick to my story and not let her down. She thanked me and we hung up. How in the hell, did all of this get to this point, I thought.
Beth called me at the office on Friday morning to make sure we were still on for later that night. I assured her I would be home and had nothing to do. She told me she would be there about seven, as Lance was leaving town for a long weekend of golfing in another state. I told her that would be fine. During the day, I gave it a lot of thought and decided since I was already feeling pretty low, I would put my relationship with Beth to rest as well. It was time to end it all.
I got home around six in the evening, jumped in the shower, got out and ordered a pizza. I had just sat down to eat, when the doorbell rang. I got up, answered the door, it was Beth. She stepped in, I closed the door behind her. We entered the great room.
“Want some pizza Beth ?”, I asked.
“Sounds good“, she said with a smile.
I went into the kitchen, got Beth a plate and a glass of iced tea and returned. We sat and ate, making small talk, both knowing what was to come.
“You seeing Jennifer this weekend ?”, Beth asked.
“No, I’m not.”, I answered, “We aren’t seeing each other right now.”
“What ?”, Beth exclaimed, “Jeff, what happened?”
I gave her the same lame duck excuse I gave her mother earlier in the week. Beth took it as well as my mother-in-law had, she knew better, but didn’t know how to get it out of me. I quickly changed the subject.
“So Beth, what did you want to talk about ?”, I asked.
“Jeff, I have decided what I want in life. I can’t be real explicit yet, but I wanted to tell you a few things.”, she said.
“I’m not sure you really trust me anymore, but I need to say this. I still have feelings for you. Not a day passes that your not in my mind. I want you to know that.”, she continued.
“I know I handled this whole thing badly and I am very sorry for hurting you. I don’t know what the future holds for me but I know I have a future. And very soon, it will be a reality.”, she ended.
For the second time in as many weeks, I had no idea what to say. I had no clue what she was talking about, or even much less how it pertained to me.
“Well Beth, I hope it all works out for you. I want you to be happy.” I answered.
I had been saying that a lot lately. I wanted everyone to be happy. But it seemed nothing was working out the way I intended it to. We talked for a while, then Beth got up, thanked me for listening and head for the door. She kissed me briefly, thanked me and told me she would call me soon.
Several weeks passed by and I heard nothing from anyone. I was falling back into my normal routine before all of this mess had started and was beginning to get comfortable. I was on the way home from work and passed in front of Beth’s. There was a U-Haul Truck in the drive way with the tail gate down. As I slowed down, I saw Lance walk down the ramp. He waved and motioned for me to stop. I lowered the window as he walked up.
“Hey brother-in-law.”, he said with a smile.
“Hey, Lance. What’s up ?”, I asked.
“Aw, nothing much. Beth kicked me out for good this time.”, he laughed.
“Oh man, I am sorry to hear that. What happened ?”, I inquired.
“Heck, I don’t know. I was being good this time. But I don’t blame her, she deserves way better then me. It’s been coming for a long time. We will both be happier doing our own thing.”, he answered.
He went on to tell me that they were drawing up final papers to sign and he would be leaving the state to move back closer to his family. He shook my hand and wished me well, saying he would keep in touch.
I drove home and pulled into the drive. I have said before, life can be cruel and relentless. Every time you think your one up, it has a way of beating you down. I was just so tired of thinking about everything and everyone, I was exhausted.
Over the next several weeks, life was almost normal. I had my routine down pat again and was beginning to feel like my old self. I had not heard from Jen in over a month, I hoped she was doing ok, but really did not want to call. I did not want her to think of me as a long lost puppy begging for a home. The holidays were right around the corner again, another year had passed.
I started Christmas shopping early in December and was finished the week before. I agreed to Christmas Dinner at my mother-in-law’s as usual and planned on spending the rest of the holidays relaxing. It was very cold out this year, very unusual for New Orleans. Three days before Christmas, I got a call from Beth.
“Hey Jeff, what’s up ?”, she said in a cheerful voice.
“Not much Beth, how are you ?”, I asked.
“I’m doing great, thanks.”, she replied.
We went on to talk about the upcoming holidays and what our plans were. She told me she was going to her mom’s for dinner as well, she would see me there. She asked if I would be interested in spending Christmas Evening with her for supper and dessert after leaving her Mom’s. I told her, I really wasn’t up for anything more, that I wanted to spend the rest of the holidays just relaxing. She persisted that I go, she wanted to take me out and thank me for being a good friend to her during her troubles with Lance. I told her , we would see how dinner went and go from there.
I arrived at my in-laws early for dinner, giving out presents and helping my mother-in-law in the kitchen. Mom told me she had invited Jennifer again this year, but she declined saying she had other plans. I was relieved, it would have been sad to see Jennifer in a lot of ways. About an hour later Beth arrived, and entered from the rear kitchen door. She looked absolutely stunning. She had on a very short red skirt, white pull over sweater and knee high suede boots. My father in law sprung up from his chair.
“How’s my baby girl ?”, he shouted, grabbing Beth around the waist and squeezing her.
“I’m great Daddy, I love you.”, she exclaimed.
You could see the old man eyes tear up. Since he had lost Susan, he had become so close to Beth. She was all he had, his only baby girl. Beth kissed her mom and moved over to me. She leaned over to kiss my cheek, and as she did whispered in my ear.
“Merry Christmas Jeff, I love you.”, she said in a very low voice.
She turned very quickly and hugged her father again and followed him into the den. We all ate dinner together and really enjoyed the day. Everyone was in a good mood, the food was great. About four o’clock, we helped mom, clean up and put everything away. We had coffee in the den and about an hour later, I was ready to go. I thanked everyone for a nice dinner, grabbed my coat and headed outside. Beth followed me quickly and soon caught up.
“I will call you in about an hour. Be ready.”, she demanded.
I got home, took a long hot shower and dressed casually for dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. I heard the door open and Beth yell out.
“You ready ?”
“Yes, be right there.”, I called back.
Beth told me she wanted to drive, so I climbed into her SUV, it would be nice not to drive. I reached for the seat belt, I saw Beth look over and giggle.
“What’s so funny ?”, I asked.
“Nothing”, she answered with a laugh.
We backed out of my drive, and pulled off. We drove around the corner and pulled into her drive way.
“We’re here.”, she laughed.
“Here ?”, I asked, “I thought we were having dinner ?”
“We are. Come on.”, she said, jumping out.
She unlocked her front door and we went in. Beth’s house was not quite as big as mine, but it was every bit just as nice. The layout was very different though. Beth’s master bedroom was in the front of the home, mine was in the rear. Her bedroom door, was immediately off of the foyer when you walked in. She also had a formal dining room, which I did not have. As she walked through the kitchen, I could smell something very good was cooking. She led me to the dining room where the lights had been dimmed, three candles were lit on the table.
“Isn’t this better then a noisy restaurant ?”, she asked.
“It’s very nice Beth.”, I replied, sensing the amount of work she must have put into this.
She pulled my chair out holding it for me, sort of laughing, this was something I always did. She slid the chair under me and bounced off to the kitchen. She returned shortly, carrying a large white casserole with a top on it. She set it down and scurried off to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee.
“I had mom make your favorite.”, she said, lifting the top off the casserole.
I knew instantly by the smell, it was homemade Bread Pudding, and it was my favorite dessert. She grabbed a bowl and spooned out a large serving for me, poured me a cup of coffee. She made some for herself and sat down next to me.
“This is a nice surprise Beth.”, I said thanking her.
“Don’t thank me, you better call mom, she made it for you.”, she replied.
“She knew it was for me ? She knew we were getting together for dinner ?”, I asked
“Yea, she did, I told her.”, she answered.
She went on to tell me that Mom had been worried about me lately. I had once again shut myself off from most of the world, staying home a lot, not going out. I have to admit, it was nice, the bread pudding was warm, the coffee was hot, but it was cold outside, really cold below forty degrees. And for New Orleans, that is cold. We finished eating, put the dishes in the sink and moved into the den. Beth had a fire going and that was the only light in the room. She sat next to me on the sofa, watching the flames jump off of the wood. I was think to myself, how did things get this crazy in one year’s time ?
“What are you thinking ?”, Beth asked.
“Nothing.”, I replied, “Things just don’t go like you think they should sometimes.”
“You miss Jennifer ?”, Beth asked.
“No, it’s not that.”, I answered.
“Susan ?”, Beth shot back.
“Yes, I still miss Susan sometimes. I think I always will.”, I responded sadly.
“I miss her too Jeff.” Beth replied, grabbing my hand in hers, “But she knows we still love her. She can see us, she is always with us.”
“Oh God, I hope not Beth. I am not proud of my self lately. I feel I have really let her down.”
“No, you haven’t let her down.”, she scolded, “Never say that to me again.”
We got quiet again as the only sound was the cracking of the wood in the fire. I glanced over at Beth, the fire was dancing in her eyes.
“Jeff, I want you to look at me.”, Beth demanded.
I turned and looked at my wife’s sister. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, she was beautiful. She reminded me a lot of Susan in so many ways. Physically they were much different, but they had so many of the same character traits, the smile, the laugh, the great sense of humor. I guess that’s why it was so easy to love Beth.
“I Love You. Really Love You. I know I messed things up by being indecisive, but I had to be sure. I know I hurt you and I probably lost you for good, but I have to tell you this. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I am willing to go right now to my parents and tell them everything. Tell them I Love You and have for a long time now. If you get up and walk out, I understand, I will move on and I will try and make a life for myself. But I just had to tell you, its your choice. I Love you, I want you, I want to be with you, period. The choice is yours.”, she boldly stated.
“Ok, I’m done.”, she finished.
I just sat there stunned, looking into her eyes. Suddenly my mouth was as dry as the desert, my brain was not working. It seemed like an eternity passed.
“You heard me, I Love you.”, she stated. “It’s simple. Do you love me at all ?”
Again I just sat there stunned, not knowing what to say. Finally I gathered some wits.
“Yes Beth, you know I still love you. But……. “
“No but’s. No regrets. I messed up bad once Jeff, and maybe I lost you, but I need to know.”, she whispered.
“I turned my life upside down to make this possible. Not for you, for us. But you can walk away and nothing will change, I will still love you. You will always be family, I just want you to be more. I want to be loved, liked you loved my sister.”, she stated.
We sat there, holding hands, looking into the fire for a long time. I had a million thoughts running through my mind. I had fallen in love with Beth, what seemed like a very long time ago. Was it still there ? Could we spend the rest of our lives together and be happy ? So many questions, not enough answers. Am I supposed to make a life changing decision in the wink of an eye ?
I looked at the clock, it was almost eleven, Christmas was almost gone. I did not know what I was feeling nor could I attempt to express myself.
“Oh, I almost forgot. I have your present here.”, she said jumping up, running to the stock that was pinned to the mantle of the fire place.
She reached in and carefully pulled a long white envelop from the stocking, turned and walked towards me. She handed me the envelop and told me she would leave me alone for a while. I looked at the envelop which was sealed, nothing on the outside. Beth left the room, and closed the door behind her. I reached under the flap and tore open the envelop, pulling out a single legal sized white sheet of paper that was hand lettered. I opened it up and immediately recognized the hand writing, it was Susan’s. I looked up and Beth was gone, the door was closed. I lowered my eyes back to the letter and started reading.
My Dearest Jeff,
If you are reading this letter, I have left you alone in this world, and for that my darling, I will be eternally sorry. We have fought a long and courageous battle, but in the end it was not meant to be. Please know, my love, without you by my side, I could not have walked these last few miles. You were my rock, my strength, you never gave up hope, you never let me give up. I fell asleep every night holding your hand, I awoke every morning, you were still there. Now as I approach the end of my life, I have no regrets, for I had you, even if it was not as long as we both hoped for . You showed me what true love was, for I know I was your entire world, as you were mine. Perhaps a love as strong as ours cannot endure forever, it is too strong, perhaps it burns itself out. But, if I would have a choice of a short life with you or grow to be a very old woman never knowing you, I would choose the fleeting moments we shared all over again.
I know I will close my eyes soon for the final time, my pain will be forever washed away. Please do not wrap yourself in grief and try to understand what has happened. I want you to, one day in the future, again have a happy life. Please do not let my death, be your own.
Please tell my parents, I love them and for what they have given me, I am so grateful. My mom is strong, but my Dad will take this very hard. Please tell him, he was the only other man in my life that I ever loved. You both made me the woman I am, and I love you both with all of my heart.
I am sorry but I do not have the strength to go on writing, I am so tired. I want to leave you with one last thought my love. For the rest of your life, when you are sad, lonely, hurting, or troubled, close your eyes and feel my loving arms wrapped around you. I will hold you close to me for all of eternity, even in death I will not forget you.
All My Love
Susan
By the time I finished reading the letter, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I pressed the letter to my chest and wrapped my arms around it. I bent over, closed my eyes and cried like an infant. I’m not sure how much time passed until I felt Beth’s hand stroking my hair. I looked up at her, wiping my eyes.
“I’m sorry, I must look like a fool.”, I said apologizing.
“No Jeff, you don’t. You’re the most thoughtful, caring man I know. Never be sorry for that.”, she replied.
“When did you get this letter ?”, I asked Beth. “How ?”
Beth went on to explain that in Susan’s last days, she had called her over to her bedside and handed it to her. Apparently Susan had asked me to go and ask the nurse for some pain medication so she could pass it without my knowledge. Susan had made Beth promise to wait and give me the letter when she felt I needed it most.
“After all that has happened this past year, I just thought now was the right time.”, Beth said.
“It was the best Christmas present I have ever gotten. Thank you Beth.”
Chapter 24
I stood up and pulled Beth close to me, holding her for a long time. As I released her, I kissed her and once again thanked her for a wonderful Christmas. I decided to walk home since it was only around the corner. I needed the cold air to clear my head. It was a very cold, clear night. As I walked home, I looked up at the stars and could not help but think of Susan. I smiled as my hand was holding the letter in my coat pocket, somehow I felt Susan was walking with me. I got home a few minutes later, locked up and got comfortable in my chair. I glanced and saw the message light blinking on the phone, I reached over and pressed the message key.
“Hey Jeff, this is Jen, just uh….wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. I know it’s not how either of us imagined it would be. I hope your ok, talk to you soon.”
One thing she was definitely right about, this is not how I pictured myself spending Christmas Day, alone. But somehow, I knew I wasn’t alone, Susan was here, if even for only for tonight. I must have fallen asleep in my chair, when I next looked at the clock it was four in the morning. I got up, went to the bedroom and climbed into bed, falling to sleep immediately.
I woke the next morning around nine, it was extremely cold in the house. I walked down the hall and glanced at the thermostat, it was off. The temperature read fifty degrees, no wonder, it was cold in here. I flipped the switch to heat, continued into the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee. The house warmed up quickly, soon the coffee was finished. I drank a few cups while I read the morning paper. I spent the rest of the day cleaning house, washing clothes, getting ready to go back to work the following day.
The following week flew by and New Year’s Eve was approaching again. It seems as you get older, the years pass by so quickly. I made an early New Year’s resolution to get back into the gym full time, I had gotten soft. I had stayed in good shape my entire life. Having played college football for a major SEC school, I was always a fairly large man. My weight had always stayed between 230-240 pounds, but I had held my thirty two waist. Now my pants were a big snug and I knew it was time to get back into a routine.
The following Monday, I started back at the gym full time and it felt good to be exercising again. After a few days, I was back into a full time routine. I received several calls about New Year’s celebrations but I had decided to spend a quiet evening at home. I just wasn’t up to being around a bunch of people drinking and cutting up.
It was Friday, New Year’s Eve was tomorrow , we were wrapping up work until the second of January. I was the last to leave at around six that evening. I stopped at the grocery on the way home, picked up a few things, headed home. I put away the groceries, took a long hot shower and settled in to relax. Around eight that night, I got a call from Jennifer wishing me a Happy New Year. I responded in kind to her, we chatted a bit, then said goodnight. I found it strange that she kept calling me, wondering if Tiffany knew about it. I had made no real attempt to stay in touch with Jen, respecting her decision, not wanting to cause problems between her and Tiffany.
I went to bed that night but couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning. I thought about everything that had happened over the past year, how everything had gotten so confusing. How I had misread Jennifer, the relationship ending how it had. Then Beth coming back and ending her marriage, telling me that she loved me and the decision would be mine if we were to be together. I thought about Beth for the rest of the night and what I really wanted to do with my life. What exactly was it about Beth that made me feel this way ? Yes, she was incredibly attractive, extremely fit and knew how to make a man feel like a man. Or was it that I saw so much of Susan in her ? The smile, the laugh, the look in her eyes , I just was not sure. I’m not sure what time I actually fell asleep, I know it took a long time. Sometime during the early morning hours, I felt a cool, almost cold hand brush my cheek. I heard a soft whisper in my ear, a voice so familiar, yet strange.
“Baby, I love you, please don’t waste any more years, go to her now.”
I opened my eyes startled, sitting straight up in bed. I looked around the dimly lit room, focusing my eyes. I felt something cold on the side of my face, reaching up with my hand brushing my cheek. My face was ice cold and wet to the touch.
As my eyes adjusted to the room, I saw it was empty. I turned and threw my feet to the floor rubbing my eyes. I could have swore, someone was in the room. I looked down at the floor and saw what appeared to be two small wet spots on the hardwood floors. I once again, looked around the room. Maybe someone was in the house. I got up, walked through the entire house checking the doors, but everything was locked, nothing amiss. I must have been dreaming, but it sure seemed so real.
I spent the day relaxing and watching TV, several good football games were on. Around five that evening I got a call from Beth, I had not spoken to her since Christmas night at her place.
“Hi Jeff, how are you ?”, she asked.
“I’m fine Beth, and you ?”, I replied.
“I’m ok, thanks. Are you doing anything later tonight ?”, she asked.
“No, not a thing. Just going to be hanging out here, watching TV.”, I responded.
“Same here. I’m not in the mood for partying.”, Beth stated.
“Yea, I know the feeling.”, I replied.
“Well have a Happy New Year’s, Jeff.”, she wished.
“You too, Beth.”, I responded.
The day passed slowly , I guess about six-thirty that evening the neighbors started shooting fireworks. They had an annual party and always spent a small fortune on fireworks. Several times, Susan and I had set up chairs in our front yard, wrapped in blankets and watched the show. Once again, there were dozens of people across the street all having a very good time. I decided to go sit outside for a while and watch the show, grabbing a chair, a blanket and a thermos of coffee. My neighbors waved to me, wishing me a Happy New Year’s and returned to their festivities. I sat up my chair, poured a cup of cup, wrapped up in the blanket and sat down. The fireworks were extremely colorful and very plentiful, never slowing down as the hours passed. I looked at my watch, it was almost ten-thirty, the temperature was really dropping. I decided to finish my cup of coffee and call it a night. Just as I was about to pickup and go inside, I saw Beth walking down the sidewalk towards me. She waved when she saw me, coming over to where I was sitting.
“What are doing out here tonight ?”, I asked.
“I saw the fireworks from my back door, decided to come watch for a few minutes.”, she replied.
“It’s cold out here.”, I laughed.
“Yea, I know.”, she giggled
“I was just about to go in. I have been out here for about ninety minutes.”, I told her.
“Oh, go ahead, I am not going to stay long. Just watch for about ten minutes.”, she told me.
“You want my chair and blanket ?”, I offered.
“Yea, sounds good.”, she laughed.
I got up, giving her my seat and wrapped the blanket around her. I went inside trying to shake off the cold. I made another pot of coffee, poured a mug and sat down in my chair. The coffee was good and quickly warmed me up. I had just gotten up to pour a second cup when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see Beth, holding my chair and blanket.
“Here, I have had enough, it’s freezing out here.”, she laughed, “I’m going to get warm.”
“I just made a pot of coffee, you want a cup ?”, I asked.
“That would be great.”, she replied.
She stepped in, I closed the door on the cold night air. We entered the great room, I offered to take her coat and scarf. She sat down on the sofa, I went to the kitchen, poured a cup of coffee and returned handing it to her. She took a small taste of the very hot liquid.
“Mmmmm, this is good. Thank you.”, she said.
I sat down across from her, picking up my cup. She was a beautiful woman, there was no denying it. Even now, dressed only in jeans, a sweater, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, no makeup, she was stunning. She reminded me so much of Susan, in so many ways, I guess it’s why I fell in love with her so quickly. As we sat there drinking our coffee in silence, I could not help but wonder why things had turned out like they had. Two years later and I had traveled full circle, sitting here again with Beth. For some reason, I suddenly thought about the night before and how I was startled from sleep by a voice.
“Baby, I love you, please don’t waste any more years. Go to her now.”
Suddenly, I felt a cold damp breeze, pass behind me. I looked up to see Beth staring at me with a blank stare.
“What’s wrong ?”, I asked.
“I can’t explain it. I just feel strange.”, she replied.
“Strange ?”, I asked.
“Never mind, it’s probably just the cold.”, she laughed.
I got up and poured us each a fresh cup, turning off the pot. I returned , handed Beth her cup and sat down. I looked at the clock it was eight minutes to midnight, almost another New Year. I looked up and saw Beth once again, looking directly at me. She smiled that smile that would stop your heart for a few beats, then just as quickly, jump start it back to life.
“I guess, I should be going, it’s getting late.”, Beth said.
I looked at the clock again, it was eleven-fifty seven, three minutes to midnight. I could hear the intensity of the fireworks pickup outside , anticipating the stroke of midnight,
“Wait just a few minutes, you can hear the grand finale.”, I said pointing towards the front of the house.
“I would, but I’m afraid Jeff.”, she answered.
“Afraid of what ?”, I asked.
“I’m afraid when that clock strikes midnight, I am going to want to kiss you, and if I do, I will never be able to stop.”, she confessed, looking down.
I suddenly knew at that moment, there was no denying it, I was still in love with Beth, I always had been. Perhaps the reason, I never ever said those words to Jennifer, because deep in my heart, I knew better. The words from last night were all too clear, I had one last chance for happiness, if I was willing to go all in on this hand.
“Maybe, I won’t ever ask you to stop Beth.”, I softly responded.
She looked up from her cup, her eyes wide and focused.
“Are you saying…..I mean….Do you….What are you saying Jeff ?”, she stammered.
I set my cup down on the coffee table, leaned towards her and took her hand in mine.
“What I am saying is, I love you. I have since that day over two years ago, the first time I kissed you. You hurt me when you took Lance back, I am not denying that, but as bad as that was, letting you go again, would be worst.”, I admitted.
“Jeff, I am so sorry for what I did to you. So many nights I cried myself to sleep, it hurt so bad. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to rush over here, jump into your arms. But I thought you were in love with Jen, I didn’t want to ruin your chance for happiness.”, she said as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“If I could go back and change everything, I would. But I do love you so much and I promise, if you let me I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never regret it.”, she finished between sobs.
I got up moved next to her on the sofa, pulling her close to me. I wiped the tears from her cheek looking into her soft warm eyes.
“You do know, I’m never letting you go again. No matter what happens, no matter who objects.”, I told her.
“You had better not.”, she replied softly.
I sat there holding her close to me, feeling her warm breathe on my cheek. She looked over at the clock and turned to me.
“It’s a new year, let’s start our new life off right.”, she whispered to me.
“What do you mean ?”, I asked ?
She stood up, grabbed her jacket and scarf, turning to me.
“You still have the key to my house, the one we gave you years ago.?”, she asked.
“Yes, it’s here.”, I replied.
“Good. I’m going home. Give me about an hour, then come over. Use the key to let yourself in, I will be waiting.”, she said with a smile.
She turned and walked out, closing the door behind her. I went into my office, opened my desk and was relieved to see the key in the drawer. I picked it up and headed to the bedroom. I jumped into the shower, shaved and changed clothes quickly. I looked at the clock, it was almost two in the morning. I went out, jumped in my car and drove around the corner to Beth’s. I hurried to the door to get out of the cold, unlocked the door and stepped in. I locked the door behind me and walked down the foyer towards the great room. I called out to Beth.
“In here.”, I heard from over my shoulder.
I looked to my right, saw that the master bedroom door was slightly ajar. I pushed it open, my eyes adjusting to the candle lit room. Beth was lying on the huge bed in a floor length, snow white ,silk gown. She was breathtaking, like a scene out of a movie. She held up one hand, asking me to join her. I moved over to the bed and joined her. I leaned over and kissed her, pressing my lips to hers. She responded by easing her tongue between my lips, seeking my own. My hand traveled down the smooth fabric of her gown, until my hand was on her ass. She pressed herself into me, responding to my touch. I reached down to her thigh, gripping the smooth fabric and lifting it slowly up her body. I released her gown and reached down to feel the back of her soft smooth thigh. She moaned into my mouth softly as my hand moved up the back of her thigh. I rolled my hand around the top of her thigh and slowly pushed my way between her legs. She willingly opened her thighs allowing me easier access. I slid my hand up slowly, until I felt her warm, very moist pussy. I extended one finger and began to slowly stroke her slit from top to bottom. Once again she softly moaned into my mouth.
I broke our kiss, and began to slowly move down her body with my lips and tongue. As I reached her thighs , I pushed her long gown up to her hips, completely exposing her pussy. I lowered my mouth to her, pushing my tongue between her smooth lips. She gasped out loud, arching her back slightly. I eased my tongue out of her, and started to gently suck her clit, between my lips. I reached up with my fingers spreading her puffy lips, further exposing her clit. I began to flick my tongue across her swollen clit, stopping only to suck it between my lips for a few seconds. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, her body trembling beneath my mouth. I felt a shiver run through her, then felt her hips come off the bed.
“Oh baby…………..Ohhhhhh…., she cried out.
I pushed my tongue deep inside her, feeling the first spurt of her orgasm wash over it and coating my lips. I eased my tongue out and opened my mouth on her, feeling the second and third waves hit the back of my throat. I stayed with her, feeling her body tremble as waves of pleasure swept over her. She relaxed slowly, her breathing returning to normal. I moved back over her, leaning down, kissing her softly. Her tongue, licked my lips, tasting her cum, then driving past my lips wanting more. She reached down, pushing her hand inside my shorts, finding my rock hard cock. Her hand gently squeezed me, softly stroking me up and down. She reached down with her other hand and pushed my shorts down my legs. She opened her mouth, still on my lips and whispered.
“Make love to me baby, I want you inside me.”
I moved over her as she opened her legs, her hand moving to her pussy. She began to rub her clit, looking up directly into my eyes. I moved forward, reached down and pressed the head of my cock into her opening. I eased between her wet soft lips and with one slow easy motion, pushed completely inside of her. I leaned over her, my head going to her neck, kissing it softly. I could feel her warm breathe in my ear. I began to move slowly inside her, pulling almost all of the way out, then slowly back down again until my hips met hers. Slowly, I increased my speed as I felt her body respond to me, once again. Her arms wrapped around me, clutching me tightly as I felt her hips lift off the bed, slamming into mine. Once again she erupted into orgasm, moaning softly into my ear.
“Oh baby, I love you….I love you…, she whispered.
She gently pushed me off of her and on to my side. She sat up, pulling her gown over her head, completely exposing her beautiful body. She moved down my chest, reaching for my wet, rock hard cock. She quickly wrapped her mouth around me, sucking me deep into her throat. Slowly and very softly her lips moved up and down my shaft, as her hand softly caressed my balls. Soon the speed of her mouth increased, quickly sliding up and down my throbbing cock. My hands moved down to her head, my fingers entwined in her soft silky hair. I couldn’t hold out any longer, I reached out for her.
“Baby, I’m coming…now…, I warned.
She moved her mouth off of me, grabbing my cock in her right hand, stroking it madly. The first stream of cum shot out of my cock landing on my stomach. She lowered her mouth over the head of my cock, as the next waves exploded on her tongue. She continued pumping my cock into her eager mouth, wanting every last drop. My cum was now running out of her mouth and down my shaft. She stayed on my shaft, making sure I was completely drained of fluid. She released my cock, moving back up my body. She leaned over and pressed her lips to mine. I pulled her closed, as I felt her mouth open and her tongue push into my mouth. Her tongue pushed my cum from her mouth into mine then moved around the inside of mouth, coating it with my warm , salty fluid. I swallowed what was left, allowing it to ease down my throat. I reached down her body and my hand met hers, which was buried between her legs. She was eagerly stroking her clit once again, no doubt aroused by the thought of my own cum in my mouth. The speed of her hand increased, and without warning, she erupted into a powerful orgasm that sent fluid gushing from between her legs. She shook violently on her hand, pressing it hard into her slit. It took her breathe away, causing her to gasp for air. Slowly it subsided, as she collapsed on top of my body, her breathing returning to normal. Her face turned to mine, her eyes tearing up slightly.
“I love you baby, I have never felt like this, never felt so loved.”, she whispered.
I held her as she sobbed, her face buried in my neck. I felt the tears stream down my cheeks as well. I pulled her body to me, squeezing her to my chest. I closed my eyes, grateful to whatever had brought me to this time and place, for it was right. This was the woman I loved, though the path was not easy, it was the right one. Today would be the first day of our lives together, I was determined to live each one to the fullest, for no one knows just how many we still have promised to us.
*NEXT – THE CONCLUSION

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