Allison 1
Introduction:
This is background, there is no sex in this chapter.
Later in my life something happened to me that shouldn’t have. It was something that I could very easily have gone to jail for. It was illegal, and it was just plain gross, incredibly disgusting, it was so so wrong on so many many levels. But at the same time, it was by far the most amazing, kinkiest, sexiest, and I dare say was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to me. It was unexpected and I never thought in a million years that it would, and oh my god, I do not regret it at all. In fact, I am still doing this disgusting thing to this day. I can’t blame my parents at all for what happened at all, but I would like to think that what I went through growing up did have something to do with what happened. Let me explain. My parents were incredibly incredibly religious. As a result I and my brother and three sisters were as well. My name is Jacob, I prefer to go by jake. My sister who was one year younger than I was is Jennifer, my brother under her was named Joseph. Mary was under him, or younger, and then my baby sister Allison. We were labeled goodie goodie and so many other things. No one at school wanted much to do with us for fear of being judged. Their fear of being judged and being stabbed in the back was justified when it came to two of my sisters my brother and parents. The thing that sucked was that I was not like that and I never was, but because of my family, I was branded in the same category as they were. As a result of that it was extremely difficult to even try to get a date. From the outside, our family looked like the “perfect” family. We all looked like one happy family, but it’s what people didn’t see that still bothers me today, and is the reason that I just stopped talking to a vast majority of my family members at all. Today, some say that I was mentally abused in a very big way, and some can’t figure out how I lasted as long as I did. It was simple, it was very very normal for me, I was use to it.
To get a better understanding, I have to take you back to my younger years. I was the eldest child, so as a result I was constantly used as an example for my siblings. If I made a simple mistake, I was always placed in front of them and ridiculed. Now punishment was very different in our family. Instead of beatings or time outs, our parents made us work out for hours in the gym we had in our basement. It has everything you could think of. So as you can imagine, I spent a hell of a lot of time in the gym. He would have me weight train for two hours and do cardio and aesthetics for another two hours. Like I said, no matter what I did, it was always the wrong thing. I spent an average of four to five hours in the gym three sometimes four times a week. As you might be able to tell, my body had changed when I started middle school. I had a very profound set of washboard abs and I was really ripped. Here is the thing, their idea of punishing me started to back fire on them, or at least as far as I was concerned, I really started to love working out. I loved it because my body was so fit and ripped. I loved how I was starting to look, and now I wanted more. Sadly, I started to get into trouble on purpose just so I could work out.
When I started high school, I had gotten bigger. I wanted to play football because I loved the sport. My parents took me in for my physical and that’s when I was told that I only had 3 percent body fat. I was excited as hell about the fact that I was so healthy, but my parents didn’t give a damn. After the physical, I was taken home and placed in front of my siblings. I was feeling really good about myself until my parents ripped me apart for wanting to play football, sighting that I was putting god and family last, so I never got to play football. One day I sneezed at the table and I had to work out for four hours. I sneezed for crying out loud and I was getting punished for it. A week and a half later, dad caught me masturbating and holy crap did the shit hit the fan. An emergency family meeting was called and I was ripped up one side and down the other, for two hours. They humiliated me by making me tell them what I was doing and I had to go into detail on what I was thinking and everything. I was mortified and my siblings gave me a look of absolute disgust. That Sunday, I was taken to church leaders and everything. After that, I was forced to work out Monday through Saturday for four hours, for two months straight. When I got that punishment, I had one hell of a time trying to act as though I was not happy about it. It took everything I had to keep from showing my extreme excitement.
So between work, I had a job now, school, and home work, I stayed pretty damn busy. The only problem, in their minds, was that I had to get up at 4am every morning to get my four hours in, so I would work out from 4 to 7am every morning and one hour every evening, for two whole months. You have no idea how much I was loving it. I worked every single muscle I had so that I was even I guess you can say. I always woke up excited and went to the weight room with a smile. Every time the door opened I had to force the smile off of my face and pretend to be pissed off. After the two months had passed, I was bummed. I wanted more so I would sneak in a quick work out at the high school gym. One day I was late getting home and was punished with more gym time. I spent more time in that gym than anyone in that family. My parents didn’t work out much, and they had put the fear of god into my siblings so they didn’t get into much trouble at all. They absolutely hated working out, to them it sucked really bad so they did everything they were told to do in order to avoid the gym.
Running five miles was part of the workout also. It had gotten to the point that it was easy for me. The problem was that I would run without my shirt during the summer. I didn’t think anything about it until I was called on the carpet. Apparently I had a lot of girls that were “lusting after me” and it was somehow my fault. I never heard anything the girls said or saw how they looked at me, but apparently it was bad enough that my siblings were lectured for two hours on how to be modest, with me sitting right in front of them. So because I ran with shorts and no shirt, I was punished again. This time, four months, Monday through Saturday workouts. On Saturdays, I had to do two four hour sessions since we weren’t allowed to so much as read a book on Sundays. Unless I had to work, then it was only 2 hours. Again, I had a hell of a time holding my excitement in. After that time was up, I got to have a little break, but I had to work out or I was going to go nuts. So I worked out in the gym at school. I was a sophomore in high school and I had a sister that was a freshman. On the last day of school, I was walking down the hall, surrounded by some of the popular girls who also happened to be friends of my sister Jennifer. That I wasn’t aware of until later. I didn’t know that my sister was watching as they all pulled my shirt up and touched my wash board abs.
“My god, you have a really really hot body.” One girl said.
“I never knew you worked out, how much do you work out?” Another asked.
“A lot.” I said as they lifted my shirt more.
“Oh wow, wow Jake, I wish I new you had this yummy yummy body.” The first one said.
“I wanna touch, can I touch?” The second asked.
“Uuuuuuh, sure go ahead.” I replied.
The next thing I knew was that I had four hands all over my abs and chest area. All of the girls started to breath hard as they examined me closely.
“Wow, look at this yummy v.” The first one said as she traced the v that went into my pants.
“You’re really really hot.” The second one said after looking down.
“Thanks.” I said.
“So do you have a girlfriend?” The first one asked.
“No I don’t.” I said as I started to relax a little.
“Too bad, maybe we can go out.” The first one said.
“I’d love to see you without this shirt.” She said as the girls let go of my shirt and took their hands off of me.
They stood around and flirted with me like crazy for the next few minutes. After that we all went our separate ways, and I could swear that I saw them meet up with my sister Jennifer. I wasn’t sure but I was way to flattered to really pay attention to that. I couldn’t believe what just happened. I’d never gotten any attention from a girl before and now all of a sudden I had four girls wanting to see me with no shirt. I just smiled and nodded my head and went to the bus. I sat next to my sister who decided that I didn’t exist, and I couldn’t figure out why. When I got home, I found out that Jennifer had seen the entire encounter. Dad was an orthopedic surgeon and was in surgery so he wasn’t home yet. She told mom and I was sent to my room to think about what happened. I was called a fornicator and a sinner for what happened, and I didn’t even initiate the encounter. I went down stairs and mom gave me a plate of food and sent me back to my room to eat. After a while I heard a little knock at my door and it opened. There stood my baby sister Allison, she had this worried look on her face as she snuck in and closed my door as quietly as she could.
“I need to tell you something.” She said quietly as she came up to me.
“Ok.” I said.
“Everybody set you up.” She said.
“What do you mean they set me up?” I asked.
“They really don’t like you for some reason. They have all been meeting and trying to figure out how to get you into trouble, so they all planned all of this.” She said.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Because I was there when they planned it, they have been planning it for a long time. It’s all they have been taking about for a while. Those girls are Jennifer’s friends.” She replied.
“You don’t hate me too do you?” I asked.
“No I don’t Jake, if anything I feel sorry for you. I don’t know why everyone hates you so much. They always talk really bad about you, they say that they think you’re possessed and that you’re evil. I tried to stop them from doing this to you but they wouldn’t listen.” She said.
“Come here.” I said as I hugged her. “It’s not your fault hun. Thank you for sticking up for me, you don’t know what that means to me.” I said.
“Why do they hate you?” She asked as we hugged.
“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” I replied.
“I’m going to tell mom and dad the truth so you don’t get punished again.” She said.
“Look at me.” I said as we let go and I looked into her eyes wiping her tears away with my thumbs as I did. “Don’t, please don’t. I don’t want them to turn on you too. You and I both know that they will.” I pleaded softly.
“They need to know the truth.” She said.
“I know hun, they do, but please don’t. I do not want to see you go through any of this. Promise me you won’t.” I pleaded again.
“I don’t want you to get into trouble again.” She said.
“I know, but I would rather get punished than for you to have to go though any of this.” I said.
“Fine, I promise I won’t if you promise to not tell them I told you.” She said.
“Deal.” I said as I hugged her again.
She broke away and kissed my cheek before she grabbed my dirty dishes and walked out. I sat there fuming like crazy, I was absolutely pissed and very hurt to know that my other siblings set me up like they did. I never did a thing to harm any of them, if anything I protected them. I sat there and stewed over it and it actually got to me. Just then Jennifer came bouncing in with a smile.
“Get out.” I said sternly.
“I wanted to talk about what happened today.” She said giddily.
“I have no interest in anything you have to say at all, now get out now.” I said,
“You’re just mad because you got caught.” She said with a huge grin.
“No I’m not, I’m mad because you set me up. You didn’t think I saw them come straight to you after they did that did you?” I asked as her smile disappeared.
“Apparently you didn’t.” I said.
“You’re right, I did set you up. But who do you really think they’re going to believe, me, or you?” She asked.
“Why do you guys hate me?” I asked.
“We don’t hate you Jake.” She said.
“Hmmm, then why go through all of this trouble to set me up and get me in trouble?” I asked.
“This conversation is over.” She said angrily.
“That’s what I thought.” I said as she walked out of my room.
Later that evening, dad came home and I knew what was coming. It took a while, because what I didn’t know was that he was having a meeting with everyone but me. As I sat there I realized something. My parents had been brain washing all of my siblings into hating me. Now wether they realized that they were doing that is yet to be determined, but it was all I could come up with. They punished me for every little wrong thing I had ever done. They used me as an example to teach my siblings lessons on how not to be wether I had any control of any situation or not. The more I thought about it the more I realized how true that was. They treated me like an unwanted guest in their home more and more as the years passed by. All they knew at this point was that I was one huge fuck up. That I was a degenerate, and that I was evil because all I ever did were evil things. Scripture was used with every lesson that I was used to teach. All they ever saw was how I screwed up, and heard scriptures that my parents read that talked about how I would be judged and punished on judgement day. The only person that saw through all of that was my youngest sister, or at least she was starting to open her eyes and realize what was really going on. Now I needed to figure out why they thought that I was so evil, and why they had brain washed my siblings to think the same thing. As I sat there thinking about that, my brother came up to get me. He walked behind me as though I was a prisoner as we went down to the family room. Everyone was sitting in there looking at me. My youngest sister was crying as I walked in and sat in the chair of shame.
“What happened today?” Dad asked forcefully.
“I had two girls come up to me and start touching me.” I said.
“Did you like it?” He asked.
“No, I was shocked.” I replied.
“Have you ever had sex?” Mom asked.
“No I haven’t.” I replied.
“You’re a liar.” Dad said.
“No sir, I’m not lying.” I said.
“Then explain to me what it was that Jennifer saw.” He said.
“The girls came up to me and started touching me.” I replied.
“You’re lying again.” Mom said.
“Jennifer said that she saw you under the bleachers with those girls and you were doing things with them, you were fornicating with them.” Dad said angrily.
“She is lying.” I said.
“No she isn’t, you are, now did you have sex with them?” He asked.
“No I didn’t.” I replied as I looked at Jennifer who was smiling.
“Why would you lie like that?” I asked.
“Shut your mouth, you no longer have the right to speak. You did have sex with those girls, Jennifer saw you. Do you really think she would lie about that?! You’re a fornicator, you are as evil as they come.” Dad said as he got into my face.
“Now, we have been down here trying to figure out what we are going to do with you. I would tell you, but I’m going to let them do all the talking.” Mom said as she pointed to my siblings.
“We don’t want you here. You’re a horrible influence on us.” Jennifer said as I started to cry.
“You’re a horrible example to every one around you and we can’t sit by and watch you anymore.” Joseph said.
“You’re the reason no one wants to join the church, you’re the reason everyone looks down on us. You can’t control yourself at all.” Jennifer said.
“We don’t want you to have our last name either because you’ve tarnished it by your actions and deeds. You don’t deserve to have our name.” Mary said.
“What about you Allie, do you have anything to say?” Mom asked.
“No I don’t, I don’t want anything to do with any of this, what part of that didn’t you get?” Allie asked.
“There must be something.” Dad said.
“No, no there isn’t. Jake is my brother and I love him.” She said defiantly as she cried.
“See, you’ve corrupted her too!” Mary yelled.
“No he hasn’t.” Allie yelled.
“Yes he has, you’re standing up for him, you have been this whole time!” Joseph yelled.
“I hardly ever see or talk to him, so how has he corrupted me?” Allie yelled.
“His actions, just from the way he is.” Marry said.
“I want nothing to do with this.” Allie said again.
“Ok so here is the deal, all summer long and until you graduate, you are to hit that gym hard for four hours a day except for Sunday. On Saturdays, when you’re done with that four hour gym time, you will run for five miles. Then you’ll come home and do your chores. I expect you to do the same on the days you work also. And If you can’t, I’ll add more time to your gym time.” Dad said angrily.
“We are moving your room to the basement. There you will live, we don’t want you up here at all, period, and you will supply your own food. There is a kitchen and everything so you should be good. We will be changing the lock to the door down there and you will get a key. And since you are to hit the gym everyday, it’ll be a little easier since it’s down there also. We will be watching you closely.” Mom said.
“You are no longer our son, you are no longer a family member. You are now a guest that we are allowing to live here until you graduate. We don’t want to see you anymore. We are tired of your evil ways. We have tried to help you but it seems that you don’t want help, and we are done trying.” Dad said.
I just sat there stunned and shocked at what was happening. They all, except for Allison, proceeded to beat me down with scripture and tell me how evil I was, and how I was going to burn in hell. They all bore witness to me about how I was just like the people of sodom and Gomorrah and how I was going to be destroyed just like the people then. They said that I was pretty much as evil as they came, and that I was beyond repentance because the devil had a strong hold of me. And the worst thing about it all was that I never had sex, I never drank or did drugs, I was active in church, I never swore, I never partied or anything. The worst thing I ever did was let those girls touch me. I had never even kissed a girl let alone gone on a date! They hated me, and it was very painfully obvious, not only to me, but to Allison. That poor girl was sobbing the entire time, I was even crying. I was in a daze, I couldn’t believe that my siblings would tell such a huge lie about their own brother. Like I said, I knew why, they’d been brainwashed for many years, and now, they hated me with a passion. They proved it to me, and I was very very hurt by it. Remember what I said at the beginning of this chapter? Yeah, they thought that they were trying to help me, but all they were doing was producing a lot of negativity. I couldn’t even look at them, that’s how hurt I was. After what seemed like hours I was able to compose myself enough to speak up.
“Since this is probably the very last time I will ever be able to so much as exists around you all, can I please ask a question?” I asked.
“Ok fine, go ahead.” Mom replied.
“Why do you all hate me? What did I do that was so bad that made you guys hate me so much?” I asked.
“We don’t h…” Mom said as I interrupted her.
“Don’t give me this we don’t hate you garbage, there is nothing you can say or do that will convince me otherwise. All you’ll be doing is peeing on my leg and trying to convince me that it’s raining. I’m smarter than you obviously think I am. All I wanna know is what I did that was so so bad to make all of you hate me so bad.” I said.
“You don’t live like you should, you sin all the time and you just keep doing it.” Mary replied.
“And you all never, ever sin. Not once in your life have any of you ever sinned?” I asked.
“Yes we have but…” Jennifer said as I interrupted her.
“So if you sin also, what is it that makes you all so so much better than me that you can all judge me so harshly?” I asked.
“We don’t think we are better than you.” Joseph said.
“Actions speak louder than words. Today, your actions have spoken so loud that the entire galaxy and the dead could hear you.” I said.
“Son look, we love you..” Dad said as I interrupted him.
“Don’t give me that, again you’re peeing on my leg and trying to tell me that it’s rain. There is more to this and I wanna know what it is. If you all sin like you claim, then you’re all hypocrites for judging me for my sins. So there is definitely a different reason and I deserve to know what it is, what’s the real reason you hate me?” I asked.
“We do not hate you jake!” Mary said.
“We don’t hate you, we just don’t approve of how you live your life.” Jennifer said.
“We all love you Jake, that’s why we are doing this.” Joseph ssid.
Why can’t any of you answer my question?I asked.
“Because we think you already know.” Mom said.
“Now if he knew would he really be asking that question?” Allison asked angrily.
“I want to know what I did for you all to hate me so bad that you are all turning your backs on me, and don’t try to deny it.” I said.
“We don’t have to answer that.” Dad said defiantly.
“So I’ll just go with this. You hate me for no particular reason. You have always hated me and I guess I’ll just have to go to my grave wondering why.” I said.
“Look son. I’m not trying to be so hateful and I’m not trying to hurt you. But, you’re father and I weren’t married when we had you.” Mom said.
“So that’s the reason?! Are you’re saying that he’s a mistake?!” Allison asked as she cried.
“No that’s not what we are saying.” Mom said.
“Then what are you saying?” I asked.
“You know what? I’ll just come out with it. You should never have been born, so yes, you were a mistake that shouldn’t have ever happened. Your mother and I should have been married before we had you but we weren’t.” Dad said calmly.
“And now you’re punishing me for it, and what’s worse is that you and mom have brain washed them to hate me as well.” I said.
“We didn’t brain wash them.” Mom said.
“Funny you say that, but not only are you punishing me for your sin, but now you have them doing the same. Basically I am nothing more than a mistake and a sin. You feel guilty every time you look at me because I remind you of your sin. That explains your hatred towards me.” I said.
“We have nothing more to say to you, we don’t answer to you for our sins.” Dad said.
“Don’t make this about us.” Mom said at the same time.
“So instead you punish me for it. At least I know why you all hate me now. Thanks.” I said as I looked down.
“One last thing, you have an appointment with church leaders this Sunday.” Dad said.
I didn’t even acknowledge what he said, I just sat there and listened to Allison sob.
“Are we done?” I asked.
“Yes we are.” Mom replied just before I stood up started to walk out of the room, but stopped.
“One more thing, how did you all get those saddles on your high horses?” I asked before I walked out completely.
I went to my bedroom and closed the door and locked it. I fell apart, I won’t lie. How would you feel if your family hated you for a sin your parents committed. How would you feel if they punished you for it. Yeah, that’s where I was at that moment. My world came crashing down that night, yours would too if you found out that you were nothing more than a mistake that should have never happened. I lost my family that night, a family I thought for sure loved me. Now please allow me to make something crystal clear here. I do not hate religion at all, I firmly and whole heartedly believe that it’s some people in religion who are the major problems. My family members, or former family members rather, are perfect examples of this. I knew so many other people who were members of my church and other churches that weren’t even close to being like my family was. Of course, my family judged them also. As I laid in my bed sobbing like a child, I felt something on my bed and realized that my baby sister Allison was there. She and I sobbed together for a long time, and as we did, she kept telling me that it was going to be ok. After what seemed like hours I realized that she was laying on her side looking into my eyes.
“I’m so sorry jake. I am so sorry for all of this.” She said.
“It’s ok.” I said.
“No it’s not, it’s not ok. Family should never do this to each other. I want you to know that no matter what happens to you, you will always have me. I will always be your family, I will always be your little sister no matter what.” She said as I started sobbing again.
She kissed my face several times and laid with me in my bed for quite a while. She was making me feel a little better truthfully. After a while longer she decided to leave.
“Are you going to be ok?” She asked.
“I don’t know.” I replied.
“I’ll be here for you, I always will, just like you have always been here for me.” She said.
“Thank you.” Was all I could say.
“You’re welcome.” She said before she walked out of my room.
I cried myself to sleep that night, I had never felt so alone in my life. Even though I still had my baby sister, I still felt very alone. The next morning I woke up and did my work out and five mile run. I came home and did my chores and then started to move all of my stuff to the basement. I was doing it all myself until Allison got up. My mom and other siblings just pretended that I wasn’t even there. After that was done, I got the key to the new lock, and I went and got my own food. I became a recluse and never left the basement except to go to work, do chores, or go on my five mile run. Sunday came along and I was called into the church leaders office. No matter how much I denied the lie that my sister told about me, he refused to even listen. A week later I was taken before a council and I had a hearing of sorts, where again, my honest denials went unheard. A week later came another devastating blow, a blow that pushed me into depression. I got excommunicated from the church, apparently the lie that was told by my sister had morphed into something bigger and worse. I was numb as I walked out of the meeting and couldn’t even think. I looked right at my sister Jennifer.
“Happy now?” I asked before I walked away and out the door of the church.
I was walking home and had been for quite some time, it was a long walk, as in 12 miles. As I did, Jennifer and Joseph drove up to me.
“Jake get in.” Joseph said.
I didn’t even look at them much less acknowledge their existence. I just kept walking and ignored them. They tried for quite a while to get me to stop and get into the car. After at least five minutes, I finally stopped after my brother spoke up again.
“Dude are you ok?” He asked finally
“Now you care?” I asked.
“Look man…” He said as I interrupted him and leaned down looking into the car at Jennifer.
“That lie you told about me, you know the one where I supposedly had sex with those girls, apparently at the same time?” I asked.
“It’s because you did, I saw you.” She said defiantly with a shit eating grin.
“No, no I didn’t and you know it. I just thought you should know that I was just excommunicated.” I said making her and Joseph’s faces turn pale white.
“Funny how a lie can affect someone’s life in such a big way isn’t it?” I asked as Jennifer’s jaw almost dropped and the blood drained from her face more. Joseph looked like he had just seen a ghost.
“What you’re not laughing now? Hmm, I don’t think it’s all that funny either, but at least you got what you’ve always wanted. You destroyed my life, so thank you. I will never forget what you just did. I hope you are happy now, you should be because you’ve accomplished your goal. Well, that’s unless you want me dead too.” I said just before I stood up and walked away from them.
As I walked away, they sat there. They seemed to have been sitting there for a few minutes before the car came rolling up again. This time Joseph was driving.
“Can I walk with you?” Jennifer asked.
“No I prefer that you didn’t.” I replied.
“Look I’m sorry, we’re all sorry.” She said.
“You’re a little late for that.” I said.
“Can we at least give you a ride home?” She asked.
“No. You shouldn’t be seen with me, I’m an excommunicated sinful degenerate, I wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation.” I replied as I kept walking.
“Can we at least talk?” She asked.
“No, I have nothing to say to you.” I replied.
“Do you hate me?” She asked.
“Yeah I do, now please leave me alone.” I said.
They tried several times to get me to stop and talk to them or let them give me ride. I ignored them and kept walking and after a while they gave up. Church let out and my parents drove right past me, they slowed down and gave me a dirty look and drove off. I just walked all the way home and went to my hole. I spent the rest of the day sleeping, nothing else. As the summer wore on, I did my normal workout, you know, the “punishment” that I received as a result of the lie that was told about me. I couldn’t go to church anymore so I spent most of that time doing not much of anything. I was literally shunned by my peers now so not only did I have no family, but I now had no friends at all. All I had was my little sister Allie who stuck by me and never gave up on me like everyone else did. She was the only reason I didn’t give up, the reason I decided to just hang on long enough to get out of there. When school started, I walked in and all eyes were on me. Jennifer’s friends all tried to talk to me but I just ignored them. That year my 18th birthday was crappy. Allie was the only one who did anything for me, it was a simple card, but you will never know how much that one card meant to me given my current circumstances. That was my treasure, one that I will always keep safe. It was priceless to me, there was nothing that could ever replace that single birthday card. In it she reiterated that she loved me and how I was and always would be an inspiration to her. She also reiterated that despite what our parents and siblings thought, she would always be my sister and I would always be her brother. That she would always be my family.
Thanksgiving rolled around and my uncles, grand parents and all rolled into town. They knew what was going on, and they too had bought into the lies that were told about me, or at least most of them did. My grandma on my moms side was absolutely furious with my parents for what they did to me. Especially after they personally talked to the girls that I supposedly had a threesome with. The sad thing was that my parents had already made their minds up. Even though grandma ripped my siblings and parents a new asshole, they were still convinced that the lie was true. When they went to talk to Allie, they realized that she was standing by my side. She just knew that they lied about me and that they did so with the hopes of destroying me I guess. Remember, she was there for the months that my other siblings planned it all out. That year I was on my own, and despite the fact that my grandma pleaded with me to join them, I refused. I just did my four hour workout, ran five miles and then took a shower. I then walked to the store and bought a butter ball turkey, stuff for the bean casserole stuff, potatoes that stove top stuffing. I went home and locked myself in and cooked my own thanksgiving dinner. I had my own tv now and watched it as my dinner cooked. Just as my dinner finished cooking, I heard a soft knock at my door. I peered out to see Allie standing there.
“Hey kiddo, what’s up?” I asked as I opened my door.
“Nothing, what’s for dinner?” She asked.
“Aren’t mom and dad going to be mad at you for not eating with them?” I asked.
“I don’t care if they do. I’m spending thanksgiving with you, I can’t stomach them today. Besides, grandma has my back.” She said.
“So why are you standing out there?” I asked as she walked in.
“I just finished making all of this.” I said.
“Good cause I’m starving.” She said.
I grabbed a couple of plates and she and I sat and ate together. This day was the first time I had laughed so much and so hard in a long time. I was having a great time having her there with me. It was actually a blast. Later grandma snuck us a whole pie with whipped cream. As we sat around we had a long conversation. It turns out that she hadn’t been talking to anyone at all. They tried to get her to speak to them but she refused. They tried to convince her that what they did to me was justified. They honestly didn’t see any wrong with what they did to me at all. Allie would always try to point out how wrong it was but somehow, they always had some kind of rationalization for their actions. After thanksgiving was over my sister spent as much time with me as she could. She knew that this was going to be the last time that she will see me for a while. So when Christmas came around, she was not happy, mainly because she didn’t get to spend the time with me. She wanted to because this was going to be the last one that she’d ever have the chance to celebrate with me. The reason she couldn’t was because the family decided that they were going to Hawaii to spend time with relatives there. I was told flat out that they didn’t want me to go, in fact they didn’t even buy me a ticket. They didn’t want to be around the likes of me because I would just ruin their vacation. So for Christmas, I was alone. I just spent the day like I normally did, worked out, ran and did chores. It was like any other normal day. They didn’t come back till a week after New Years, so I was alone that entire time. I had absolutely no one at all.
As more time passed my little sister made good on her words. She and I had a lot of good times as my time to leave drew close. My grandma and I kept in contact as well, she would call me regularly just to see how I was doing. After a while, I expressed my interest in leaving before my graduation day. She and I talked at length about my future. I told her that I wanted to go to school to get my pilot license. I wanted to fly helicopters, but not just any helicopter. I wanted to be a pilot for a life flight agency. I told her that I wanted to get my medic license as well so if I had to, I could work with injured and sick people if needed. She immediately told me to go online and find a good school for that, so I spent several weeks looking for one. I found one that seemed to have the best ratings and the best reviews. It was apparently the best one around, so there is one reason why I wanted to go to that one. The other reason was that it was so far away, as in 2000 plus miles. We lived in southern Utah, and the school was in Kansas City Missouri. I researched it like crazy and decided that that was where I wanted to go. I ran it by my grandma and she got excited. It was amazing to have her support. I had so much money saved up that I was going to use that to get a place. Grandma made me look around for a car, I don’t know why, but I looked. I found a Ford Ranger four wheel drive with the off road package, with an extended cab. It wasn’t a step side. It was used but it had a shell, tinted windows, heavy duty brush guard, bug deflector, window guards, custom tires and rims and any and all accessory you could think of. It had very low miles, it was a 2005, only two years old and had less than 10,000 miles. It wasn’t lifted but it still looked pretty bad ass. Grandma bought it for me. I was amazed and shocked, I tried to talk her out of it and she refused to listen. She got a hold of her friend that lived in town and he picked it up for me. I later went to their house and we got it insured for a whole year and got it licensed, and I paid every dime of that myself, I insisted that I did. It was perfectly legal and ready for me to drive to KCMO.
When only a couple of months of school remained, I went ahead and started to pack my things little by little. I started to load the back of my truck up and started talking to my counselors. I made it clear to them that I did not want to walk the stage on graduation day. I planned on being long gone, or at least driving out of the city by then. So I worked with them to where I could get my diploma prior to the actual graduation day. The problem I had was that my parents decided to be fake and invited family down for my graduation. There wasn’t anything I could do about that, but they were not prepared for what I had in mind. The only hard part was telling Allie that I was leaving. Since she went out of her way to make sure that I had her still, I thought that she deserved to know. The only difference was that I was only going to tell her where I was going. My other siblings and my parents will only know that I was gone after I had left. So decided to have her come by my work and have lunch her. I went to the cell phone store. I started my own account and bought two smart phones with an unlimited data plan. I went home and charged both of our phones completely so when I gave my sister her phone, it would be fully charged. Since she bent over backwards to stay in my life as my sister, I decided that I was going to stay in constant contact with her. She was the only family I had as far as immediate family. After I had everything ready, I went ahead sent her a text asking her to meet me my work. And since my parents stopped trying to get her to stay away from me, she accepted my invite for that weekend. I was not looking forward to telling her that I was leaving.
That weekend, I was working and was getting ready to take my lunch break when she walked in. She somehow got Jennifer to bring her by. Jennifer actually came in with her which surprised me. Jennifer just looked at me and gave me the stink eye as Allie came up to me and hugged me. I took her to the table that I reserved for us, and thankfully we were out of Jennifer’s sight. I had my sisters new phone and charger in my locker in the back, so Allie sat and waited while I went back to get it, and went back.
“So how did you manage to get her to bring you?” I asked as I sat down.
“I told her that if she didn’t, I’d tell mom and dad everything, like how all of them planned to set you up and lied about you.” She said as she smiled.
“Nice.” I said as we fist bumped each other.
We sat there and ate and joked around for a while before I decided that it was time to break the news to her.
“Look Allie, I wanted you to come here because I need to tell you something.” I said.
“Ok.” She said.
“You have to promise me that you won’t say anything until I’m done.” I said.
“I promise.” She said with a worried look on her face.
“First of all I absolutely have to say thank you for standing by my side and being there for me. I can not tell you how much that means to me. When everyone turned their backs on me at home, you didn’t, you still treat me like family. This year, you made my birthday worth celebrating with the card you gave me, and I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that you to spent thanksgiving with me. I will always remember that and those will be memories that I will never forget. What I’m about to say stays between us, you’re the only one who will know this, but I’m leaving on graduation day, I don’t think I will ever be back. I don’t want to do this to you because you’re all I have, but at the same time, I can’t live like this anymore. After I was excommunicated from the church, you were quite literally all I had. I lost all of my friends and everyone else in the family. All I have here is my little sister and I know that I will always have you.” I said as she started crying.
She didn’t say a word, she was too busy crying to say anything. After a few seconds, she got up and gave me a really big hug as she cried.
“I don’t blame you one bit, I would leave too. I love you Jake.” She said as I held her.
“I love you too Allie. Thank you for everything.” I said as we let go and she looked into my eyes.
“You don’t have to thank me Jake, I’m your little sister, I’m suppose to be here for you that’s what family does, and you’re my family.” She said.
“I’m really going to miss you.” I said.
“I’m going to miss you too, but you better keep in touch with me.” She said.
“I’m glad you brought that up, because I have something for you. But before I give it to you, you absolutely have to promise me that you never let anyone know that you have this.” I said.
“What is it?” She asked.
“Just promise me that you will never let anyone know you have it. You have to hide it.” I said.
“I promise.” She said as she sat back down.
I reached into my pockets and pulled her phone and charger out of my pocket after making sure that our other sister couldn’t see and handed them to her.
“That’s how we are going to stay in touch. At anytime when you need to talk to me just call or text me. I just went out and started my own account so mom and dad won’t know that you and I are talking.” I said as I showed her my phone.
“Are you going to tell them that you’re leaving?” She asked.
“No I’m not. I’m just going to leave. You’re the only one that knows, they won’t know until I’m already gone.” I said.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“Kansas City. I’m going to go to school out there.” I replied.
“When will I see you again?” She asked.
“I’m not sure honestly.” I said.
“Well, when I’m old enough, I’m going to come out there to see you.” She said.
“I hope so.” I said.
“How are you getting out there?” She asked.
“I’m driving.” I replied.
“But you don’t have a car.” She said.
“Yeah I do now, grandma bought me a truck” I said.
“Where is it?” She asked.
“It’s at her friends house.” I replied.
“Well, I hope you like it out there. I wish I could go with you because I don’t like how our family treats you.” She said.
“I don’t either, they’ve ruined any kinda life that I had here. All I have left is you.” I said.
“And it’ll always be that way.” She said.
“Same here, I’ll always be here for you.” I said.
“I know.” She said.
“Just do me a favor, when they figure out that I’m gone, I wanna hear their reaction so call me and leave the line open so I can hear them.” I said as she stuffed the phone and charger in her pocket.
“Ok. I’ll be the one to tell them so I’ll call you for sure.” She said.
“We gotta go Allie.” Jennifer said after she came up to us.
“I’m talking to my brother right now, so you’re going to wait a second.” Allie said defiantly.
“I know you said I don’t have to, but thank you for everything Allie.” I said.
“You’re welcome.” She said as she stood up and hugged me as she started to cry again.
“What did he do to you?” Jennifer asked angrily.
“He didn’t do anything to me, why are you guys always thinking the worst of him? Haven’t you don’t enough damage?” Allie asked.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jennifer said.
“Oh but you’re wrong Jenny, I know exactly what I’m talking about. I was in the room with all of you during all of your little meetings remember?” Allie asked angrily.
“Whatever, let’s go.” Jennifer said.
“Love you kiddo.” I said.
“Love you too.” She said.
I went right back to work as they walked out. I didn’t even see that Allie had started to all but sob as they left. That night I went home and hit the gym for four hours. During that time Allie had already begun to text me. We talked all night on the phone that night. From that day on, she black mailed every one of our siblings into letting her spend time with me when our parents were gone. I took her for several rides in my truck and took her shopping and everything. Those last few months were amazing only because of her. Boy she had our siblings in the palm of her hands like crazy, I only know that because even when they were home, she hung out with me. But the time went too fast. I was excited to get the hell outta there, but at the same time I was nervous. The last day of school was when I got everything I needed loaded up into my truck, and parked it down the street before school. I rode the bus as I always did. My other siblings who were driving now had cars, but I refused to ride with them. All I had left was a back pack full of what I had left. After school, I went home and spent hours cleaning my area so it was perfectly clean. I even paid to have the carpets professionally cleaned while mom was at the hospital having lunch with dad. I took the phone my parents gave me and set it with the charger on the counter in the kitchen.
True to their fake form, my parents invited family from all over the country. Grandma lives in Iowa and even she came out, to keep up appearances. But she was going to go back after she confronted my parents and other siblings about what happened. I was going I spend a couple of weeks there before she and I drove to Kansas City, in separate cars since school was starting a week after we got there. As everyone came out to the house to spend time with us for my graduation, I was still forced to stay in the basement. My parents lied to them and told them that I was taking a nap. Allie came down and spent at least a couple of hours with me. She cried a lot and cuddled up to me as we watched tv. I skipped dinner and went straight to bed early because I planned to have plenty of rest before I left. The next morning, I got up and worked out for four hours just as I normally did. That way my parents and siblings had no idea that I was leaving at all. My graduation was set for late that afternoon so my sister and I spent as much time as we could together, despite the protests of our parents. Graduation started at 2:30 and I had to be there by no later than 1:30. I planned on being gone before then. I again made sure that everything was in perfect order, and hung my cap and gown in the middle of the living room, I kept the tassel. Just before noon, everyone showed up at the house, and my sister came down stairs. She and I walked out of the house and down the block to my truck. My living space was facing in such a way that no one could see or hear us leaving. The guest house had my other family members in it, but they were all at our house, so they had no clue that I had just left. That was a very hard time for me and her. We held onto each other for quite a while crying. I gave her a kiss on her fore head before we finally separated. I got into my truck and she stood there watching as I drove off. That had to be by far the hardest most difficult thing I had ever done. Watching my baby sister disappear in my rear view.
I went to I-15 and headed south. As I made my way towards I-70 I started to realize how much I was going to miss the only family member I had there. Almost an hour had passed before my sister called my phone. Luckily I had a new stereo with blue tooth. I tried to say hello, but got no reply, then I realized what was going on.
“JACOB, LETS GO.” Dad yelled.
“I don’t know what he is doing down there.” Mom said.
“Jake honey, we need to get to your graduation.” Mom yelled.
“I don’t think he’s going to come up here.” Allie said.
“Why not, he is graduating today.” Mom said.
“Yeah I know, but he isn’t going.” Allie said.
“He’s not going to his own graduation?” I heard Mary chiming in.
“No I don’t think he is.” Allie replied.
“Why wouldn’t you want to go to your own graduation?” Joseph asked.
“I don’t know, maybe he’s just sick or some thing.” Jennifer said as everyone agreed.
“Yeah well, he’s going to his graduation.” Dad demanded.
“No he isn’t.” Allie said.
“Yes he is.” Mom said.
“No he isn’t, trust me he’s not going.” Allie said.
“Why not?” Dad asked angrily.
“He’s gone.” Allie said.
“What do you mean he is gone?” Dad asked.
“He left, he’s gone.” Allie said as she tried to choke back her tears.
“Call him honey.” Mom said.
“You’re not going to reach him.” Allie said.
“Why not?” Mom asked.
“He left his phone on the counter.” Allie replied.
“Well where did he go? Is he coming back?” Mary asked.
“I don’t know where he went, but I do know that he isn’t coming back. He’s never coming back.” Allie replied.
“How do you know?” Jennifer asked.
“Because he told me. He’s been planning all of this for a while, something you all know about really well huh.” Allie replied defiantly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jennifer said.
“Yes you do, stop lying. It’s your fault that he is gone, it’s all of your faults.” Allie said.
“What are you talking about?” Dad asked.
“Why don’t you ask them.” Allie said.
“We really do…” Mary said before Allie interrupted her.
“STOP LYING!!” Allie all but screamed.
“We will talk about this later.” Dad said.
“No, we need to do this now, we need to get all of this out now.” Grandma demanded.
“Get what out?” Mom asked.
“I don’t know kids, what am I talking about, now you can either tell them, or I will.” Grandma said.
“So will I.” Allie said.
“What’s going on, maybe we should wait until it’s just us.” Mom said.
“No, every one of you were a part of what drove him away, each and everyone of you.” Grandpa said.
“You may have not done so inadvertently, but you did by your actions. Every one of you bought a huge lie. A lie that got him excommunicated from the church, and that caused his family to turn their backs on him and shun him. After he was excommunicated, every single one of you, every one of you in this room right now, treated him like a disease. Now kids, tell them the truth, do it now.” Grandma demanded angrily.
“We don’t know what she is talking about.” Mary said.
“This is your last chance, stop lying and tell the truth.” Grandma demanded.
“Since they won’t tell you, I will. That whole thing about Jake having sex with those girls wa….” Allie said as Jennifer interrupted her.
“He has corrupted her and now she is ly…” She said as grandpa interrupted her.
“LET HER FINISH!” Grandma yelled.
“It was all a lie. They all planned ways that they could get him into trouble, and that was what they came up with. They planned to for several months before they decided that Jennifer was going to have a few of her friends hit on Jake, she specifically said that she was going to get Kylie and Bianca to do it for sure. When they did, she was going to say that he had sex with them so he could get into big trouble.” My sister said.
“Is this true?” Dad asked.
“That’s not all, a week before thanksgiving I was out here and I had a long talk with this young lady here. After she told me what happened I tracked these ladies down and I got a written statement from them both. They did so with no hesitation. Here are their statements. They never had sex with him, never once. Apparently they were both paid 100 dollars each to do what they did. The money they got for that is also included with those statement. They felt so bad that they didn’t spend the money. Especially after they found out that he got excommunicated. They even tried to return the money but when they tried, Jennifer refused to take the money. Go ahead, open those envelopes and read their statements.” Grandma said.
It was silent for a few minutes and I’m only assuming that they were reading the statements that were in the envelopes.
“Are we still lying?” Allie asked.
“You all forgot that I was a cop for 25 years didn’t you?” Grandma asked.
“Is this true?” Mom asked.
“Mom, we…” Jennifer asked.
“Tell me the truth! Is this true?!” Mom yelled.
“Yes, yes it is.” Jennifer said.
“I don’t even knew what to say.” Dad said.
“Where did you all get the money?” Mom asked.
“Our allowances. We all chipped in.” Joseph replied.
“Why did you all do this?” Dad asked sounding sick.
“Now don’t start acting like you care about the boy by turning everything onto them, it’s all of you! Every last one of you here except for Allison. You never have cared about Jake, you have all treated him like he was a horrible horrible criminal. He couldn’t even breath right around you all. You punished him for every single little thing. You never once ever gave him a chance to plead his case. You never once believed him when he tried. Then a huge lie was hatched and that got everyone in this room except for Allison to turn their backs on him, and it got him excommunicated from the church. If I was him, I would leave too, and you would never hear from me ever again.” Grandpa said.
“Why are we all doing this here and now, why couldn’t we wait till everyone else was gone?” Mary asked.
“Did you give him that respect?” Grandma asked.
“I think we did.” Dad replied.
“Yet everything he ever did wrong, you would sit him in that chair and every one of you crowded around him and beat him down as a family. You basically burned him at the steak every single time, and you gave him the same respect?” Grandpa asked before several long and awkward minutes of silence.
“Silence…hmmm.” Grandma said.
“I don’t care what happens to me, I don’t care if you all punish me for this, and I don’t care what Jake says, I have to say this. Jake was my brother, and I loved my brother. He was nothing to you, but he was my family. I was his ONLY family he had left after you all disowned him! I want you all to know that I blame you for him leaving. I blame YOU for not being able to see him ever again. This is all YOUR fault! I LOST MY BIG BROTHER BECAUSE OF YOU!! HE TREATED ME BETTER THAN ANY OF YOU EVER HAVE!! I HATE ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW!! I DONT THINK I WILL EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS, EVER!!” Allie yelled as she started sobbing hard.
“Are you all happy? Are you happy that you destroyed his life? Are you happy that you hurt this young lady as bad as you have?! Look at her, LOOK AT HER!!” Grandma yelled.
“Do you even see what you did wrong, or are you so blinded by others sins that you refuse see the beam that protrudes from all of your fucking faces? Shame on all of you, ALL OF YOU! Son, wow, I am so disappointed in you right now. I don’t think I have ever been this disappointed in any of my kids, we did not raise you like this.” Grandpa said to dad.
“Did we ever shame any of you in front of each other?” Grandma asked.
“No.” Dad replied.
“Did we ever disown or shun you?” She asked.
“No.” Dad replied.
“So why would you ever do it to your own son?” Grandma asked before several more long and awkward minutes.
“Well, we are going to go home now, we are expecting our grand son to arrive within a day or two. He is spending a week with us before he heads to his final destination. Now I am respectfully asking that you not call me during that time, understood? Allison, you’re exempt from that, you can all anytime you want honey.” Grandpa asked.
“Where is he going?” Dad asked.
“That I’m not saying.” Grandma replied.
“He is my son, I deserve to kn…” He said as grandma interrupted him.
“You disowned him remember? What was that you said, you are not a part of this family, or you’re not family something along those lines?” Grandma asked.
“How is he getting to where he is going?” Mom asked.
“I bought him a truck. He’s had it for the last few months.” She replied.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Mom asked.
“Why so you could take it away? Besides you disowned him remember. All of you disowned him, and all of you made it very clear to him that he was not family but an unwanted guest in your house. So what difference does it make at this point?” Grandma asked before yet another several awkward minutes of silence.
“Now imagine what it must have felt like for him. Imagine what it might be like to feel this way every waking moment of every day for a coupe of years. Like you’ve been excluded from every ones life. This is how you made your son feel for far too long. It doesn’t feel good does it?” Grandpa asked sarcastically.
“You owe this young lady a huge apology.” Grandpa said.
“I don’t want it, in fact I don’t want any of you to even look at me.” Allie said still all but sobbing.
“And just so you know, punishing him by making him working out as much as you did, it back fired. He loves working out, he absolutely loves it.” Grandpa said.
After all of that my sister hung up the phone, so I had no idea what happened after all of that. I felt amazing because I was just exonerated from their lies and judgements. Sadly the damage had already been done. I already felt as though I was not family to any of them except for Allie. That and I had already been excommunicated from the church, so with the combination of those two things, my life was already ruined. Later in that evening just as I got to my hotel my sister called me. She and I were talking as I checked in and went to my room. As our conversation continued, I could hear my other siblings walk into her room.
“Get out! I don’t want to hear anything you have to say!” She yelled.
“But we really need to talk to you.” Joseph said.
“What part of I don’t want to hear anything you have to say don’t you get?” She asked.
“Look we are sorry.” Jennifer said.
“And now you’re going to lie to me?! Get out of my room. I hate all of you right now and I don’t want to talk to any of you. Get out, get out now.” She demanded.
“Can we talk later?” Mary asked.
“Probably not, I’m probably not going to talk to any of you for a while.” She replied.
“Well we tried.” Jennifer said.
“I guess so.” Allie said defiantly.
They walked out and I heard Allie shut and lock her door. She and I then resumed our conversation. After a while longer she hung up and I took my shower. The next morning I woke up and went to the gym they had at the hotel. As I worked out I had a ton of teenage young female eyes on me, and yes I liked it a lot. I loved how they all looked at me. I only worked out for two hours because I wanted to get back on the road. God that was a long ass drive to Iowa. My grandparents hopped the next plane out of Utah the day that I left, and went home. So when I arrived two days later, they were already there to greet me. I spent two days there with them before we headed off to Kansas City. Once there we went to my new place in the northland and then my grandparents bought me furniture. Grandma decorated my place and she went to the local gym with me where she paid for a gym membership. I wasn’t expecting that at all, I was fully prepared to take the costs on myself but grandma insisted on paying for it. For the first time in my life, I had a family member tell me how proud they were of me. How they knew that I was going to make it and that I was a good man. It was a very emotional time for me. I felt loved for the first time, I felt loved from them and my sister Allie. So as you can see I didn’t have the best childhood. Though there are others that have lived a life that are far worse than mine, this was my life.
You can say that my childhood has a lot to do with what happened next. I was sheltered as hell, you couldn’t get more sheltered than I was at home. Now let me ask you this. You take a dog and you lock that dog up in a cage for a very long time, what happens when that dog gets a taste of freedom? What happens when that dog is released? He or she goes crazy! They take every opportunity to experience their new found freedom by running around wild. They go absolutely nuts until they are caught. That’s what happened to me, as time passed and I got use to my new found freedom, I started to go crazy I guess you can say. I never hid anything I did from my sister except for one thing, and one thing only and I’ll get to that in the next chapter. Did she eventually find out? Yes she did, but I didn’t get the reaction I was expecting. I was so use to how my family back home would react to such a thing. Not Allison I guess I just expected her to conform to their ideas of how one should live their lives after so long. I later found out that it wasn’t so. She was still incredibly bitter and angry for what my family put me through. As you read the following chapters, you’ll see what I am talking about.
