I still remember the way the new house looked, and how happy my mother was when she saw it. We’d never lived in a nicer, quieter home than this. It was very secluded, and deep in the forest, but that was her dream home, and I was happy for her. My mother’s name was Ariel. She was a beautiful Japanese woman with long black hair, a small frame, a lot everything going for her.
She recently divorced my Columbian father, and they moved far away from each other. I was their only son. He was in New York now, and here we were in the mountains of north Georgia. Despite the dramatic adjustment I’d have to make to new schools, and a new life without my father, I was still optimistic about the new state. It would be a lot different from living in New Mexico.
I was 11 with tanned skin, black hair, and light green eyes. My name is Phoenix.

“Now remember, Phoenix, you’re going to meet mommy’s new friend today okay? I want you to behave around him,” she said to me as soon as we got through the door.

I could tell all day that she was expecting someone to come over. She’d put on make-up for the first time since my father left, and she had the biggest smile on her face. I stayed in my room until I heard the door bell ring. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone fly down a staircase so fast.

“Kao! You made it!” she said happily.

I walked to the balcony to where I could see him. He was tall, very tall, and scary looking. Judging by the shape of his face he was Chinese. I got a bad vibe from him from the beginning. My mother was to perfect for him. He didn’t deserve her.

“I want you to meet my son,” she said.

At that moment he looked up, catching me spying. I quickly put my head back behind the wall, knowing he saw me.

“Is that him?” he asked with an audible smile on his face.

“Phoenix?” my mother called out. “ Get down here.”

I sighed before getting up and slowly walking downstairs. The only thing uglier than his face was his smile.

“Hey there, were you spying on us?” he asked.

I stayed quiet, not looking at him.

“Phoenix! What is wrong with you? I’m so sorry, Kao, he’s being very rude,” she said tightly grabbing my arm as if to warn me to change my attitude.

“It’s fine,” he said calmly, “I completely understand.”

“Phoenix, Kao is going to be staying with us for a while, you’re going to have to show him some respect.”

I looked up at her finally with my eyes wide in shock. She failed to mention that part.

“I guess you haven’t told him yet,” I heard him say under his breath.

She gave him a look, as if to tell him to be quiet.

“Phoenix, go to your room, I tell you when you can come out.”
I did, happily.

I started to think what he could’ve meant, and my mind wandered to my worst fear. Was she really going to marry him?

I heard them arguing about it. Kao obviously wanted me to know something, but my mother wasn’t “ready to tell” me. After about 2 hours of quiet, I heard my door open. It was 9 at night, and I was sure it was my mother coming to finally tell me what was going on. I lay on my bed facing away from the door, pretending to be asleep as I heard the door close. I felt her sit on my bed next to me. She rubbed my back, down to my side.

“Phoenix,” a deep voice said.

I instantly sat up, and moved away from the edge of the bed. It was him.

“Your mother wanted me to tell you that I’ll be living here from now on. You don’t have to call me your stepfather, trust me, I don’t want to be. Your mother failed to mention she had a son though, …especially such a bright, handsome boy like you…but I want you know that I will be helping your mom with you now.”

It grew quiet as I stared at him in his black eyes.

Was I supposed to be happy? What was he expecting? A “thank you?”

He smiled again after a while of looking at me.

“You are something…” he shook his head before getting up and walking to the door. I guess he was taking my hint.

“Let’s just hope you’re nothing like your worthless, wetback father,” he said before walking out and shutting my door.

I was frozen there in disbelief. I didn’t know which to be more mad about: the general fact that he’d even mention my father, or the fact that my father was Columbian, and not Mexican.

July 4th, 2003

So this went on for the next month. Kao would put on his fake act in front of my mother, but as soon as she left, he’d act as if I were scum of the earth. It’s not like it bothered me that he didn’t care about me, but it did piss me off that he’d deceive my mother like that. She genuinely believed he was a good guy, but I knew the truth.

That day, they’d invited a lot of people I’d never met before to our house. There were about 60+ people, but plenty of room for all of them, and plenty of alcohol. I’d never seen my mother having so much fun.

“What is a little kid doing here? He shouldn’t be seeing this?” I heard a woman say as I walked through the living room toward the kitchen.

My mother told me to stay in my room, but I was thirsty. I didn’t expect to see a few people snorting lines of cocaine on our coffee table. Of course I didn’t understand back then, so it didn’t bother me. I casually made my way through drunken masses of people toward the refrigerator.

“Phoenix! Oh my god, Phoenix, go to your room!” I heard my mother yell.

“Ariel, relax,” I heard Kao say.

He walked up beside her and handed me an opened red bull. I’d never tried one, but I liked it.

“Let him stay over here in the TV room. He’ll be fine, don’t make him stay cooped up in his room,” he said slurring every other word.

They were both obviously trashed.

“…Fine…okay, go Phoenix.”

Kao led me into the room where he and his friends were playing poker. There was smoke clouding the room, and I got dizzy as soon as I walked in. Kao sat at the table with them and continued his game after he switched on the large TV screen to a football game. I could barely hear it over the loud music, talking, and laughing.

I’d just woken up, so I was sure that I shouldn’t be sleepy right now, but I couldn’t fight the urge to close my eyes. I almost passed out on the couch a few times, and I finally figured it was time to go back upstairs. I stood to walk out, but instantly felt light-headed. I remember falling hard, and hitting my head on the table in front of me. I heard Kao’s friends laughing before he picked me up, bridal style.

“You shouldn’t let him drink, Kao,” one of them joked.

“I’m going to put him in bed, you guy’s finish without me,” he said.

I tried to kick myself out of his arms but I could barely move. I couldn’t figure out why I was so exhausted.
The music became quieter and I knew I was in my room. I drifted in and out of consciousness as I saw my lamp turn off. I didn’t know if he’d left until I felt his hand over my mouth. I tried to scream, but all that came out was a muffled whimper. I managed to barely lift my arm before he pinned it down.

It was obvious to me now that he’d drugged the drink he gave me.

I sheepishly tried to fight him off, but the effort was completely useless. He was 6’2” and 250 pounds, and I was 4’7” and 90 pounds. I felt him crushing me as he started to kiss my neck. I writhed underneath him, barely causing him to flinch. He smelled like alcohol and ass, and I almost gagged when he moved his hand away from my mouth and shoved his tongue inside. I moved my head away and screamed as loud as I could.

“Please…don’t,” I mumbled. It sounded as if I were half asleep.

“Shut the fuck up,” he said into my ear as he roughly put his hand back over my mouth and moved my head back.

I felt him unzip my jeans and force his hand down my underwear. He grabbed everything with one hand and started to rub the shaft of my dick. As if it were a reflex, I used my free hand to punch him in the face. It barely made him move, and obviously pissed him off more. He took his hand out of my pants and put it around my neck.

“So you want to fight me?” he said angrily.

He changed his position, moving his body in between my legs, and sitting up, putting all of his weight on my neck, and making it impossible for me to breathe. He pinned both of my hands above me head with his other hand. I began trying to free myself with every last bit of energy I had left. Even if I could scream as loud as possible, no one would hear over the noise downstairs. I began to wonder how long it would take for my mother to realize me and Kao were both gone.

“I could easily kill you, you little shit.” he said, “ if you don’t stop moving, I’m going to fucking strangle you to death.”

That’s when my body went limp. The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t bluffing. He smiled when I stopped moving, and finally let go of my neck. I coughed, trying to get the air back in my lungs.

With one hard motion, he ripped the shirt off of me. I shuddered from the force. He pulled my pants down enough to expose every last inch of me. I saw him quickly unzip his own pants and pull them down. He grabbed his already hard 7” dick with a groan and he started to stroke it as he ran his other hand down my chest to my hips.

“God, you are beautiful,” he moaned.

He moved back and took my pants off all the way and threw them to the side before moving back in between my legs. By now tears were running down my face, and I had my hands twisted in the sheets below me, bracing myself for a lot of pain. He stuck two fingers in his mouth, and slid them inside of my ass, before roughly shoving himself deep inside of me.

I’d never felt any amount of pain as intense as this. It was as if he were deliberately trying to make this as painful for me as possible. I was being torn apart with every violent thrust. I felt blood run down onto the bed. I bit my lip to quiet my own screams of agony. I thought it would never end. My body rocked uncontrollably as he roughly pounded his body into mine. With one last thrust I felt a pressure deep inside of me, and his hot load filled my sore hole. He was breathing heavily, not trying to hide the fact that his breath was nauseating. He tasted like cigarette ash and scotch when he kissed me again.

I stared at the ceiling, lifelessly with tears in my eyes as he pulled his pants back up.

“If you tell anyone…I will kill you,… and your mother…understand?”

I slowly nodded. I knew he would.

He ran his hand up my thigh once more, causing me to jump, before finally walking out of the room.